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D.C. pools are open everyday beginning Saturday. It’s almost time to go outside. Whether or not you enjoy things like water and being a never-nude near the water, we have you covered. From what to watch before you head out, what to listen to while you’re submerged, what to read when you’re drying out, what to do while you’re in the water, what to wear for all water-related activities and where to actually find water, we have you covered. There are also great indoor pools in D.C. if that’s more your thing! Jump in, the water’s fine! Or it’s not because some kid did something bad in the water. Before you jump in the water, make sure other people are in the water. Sometimes disgusting things happen in the water, just ask our old intern…

Pool Playlist by Marcus Dowling

Here’s a playlist of 20 songs, compiled as I thought about three particular pool parties. One, the pool party I went to in the first grade in the backyard of my day care center, where I think I fell in love for the very first time. Second, a BYT Pool Party at the Capital Skyline Hotel that I attended in 2009 and ended up falling head-over-heels in love. Third, the ideal pool party I’d want to attend this summer, which is a very subdued affair where I can get away from everything and everyone and have absolutely no deadlines (and ideally not fall in love). Somewhere between all of those vibes, I think this will encompass what we’re all feeling when we want to hit an outdoor pool this summer. It starts off kinda wild, then it mellows as it turns up a bit, eventually chilling all the way out by the end. There’s some classics, some brand new jams and some of my personal favorites here. Enjoy all summer long.

Maybe you’re not swim suit ready. That’s OK. We asked BYT Film Editor Alan Zilberman for the five best films and/or television episodes related to pools. Watching actors swim is like swimming, right?

Pool Related Viewing To Get You In The Mood For The Pool

5) The Way Way Back

Remember when you were an awkward kid and your mom’s new boyfriend was more like a bully than a father figure? So do writer/directors Jim Rash and Nat Faxon! Their hero is awkward as hell, one who hates a summer in beach town exile, so it’s a good thing Sam Rockwell is there to serve as lifeguard his boss/mentor/guru.

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4) Swimming Pool

A big part of any pool/beach experience is the envy of others. Nothing articulates your pathetically doughy, aged body quite like a sexy young co-ed who seems ambivalent about her sexuality. French auteur François Ozon cannily unearths that anxiety with this slow-burn thriller.

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3) The Simpsons “Summer of 4 Ft. 2”

Longtime fans of the ubiquitous Fox cartoon argue over when, exactly, the show started to get bad. No matter whether you think it’s the eighth or ninth season, there’s no denying that 1996 was peak Simpsons, and this episode is one of their best. In it, Lisa gets popular with the beach townies, which makes Bart jealous. Sibling rivalries are a feature of the summer; without school to serve as a barometer of social status, summer affords fresh opportunities to go up or down in esteem.

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2) OSS 117: Lost in Rio

The summer beach movie was a minor cultural phenomenon in the 1960s, and this French spy parody captures the mood perfectly. It also gets bonus points for casual anti-antisemitism, hippies canoodling by a beach-side fire, and Lucha libre Nazis.

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1) The Sandlot

This is the peak summer pool movie. Having been both a pool rat and a lifeguard, I genuinely understand the delicate dance between these warring factions. Adult swim was my kryptonite, for a while anyway, until I realized it’s actually a formidable weapon. This might be the perfect summer metaphor for what adolescence means.

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If you were doing squats while viewing you should be water ready. It’s important to know what to do in the water. You should swim laps in the water. BYT’s biggest swimmer (at least in the office) is Svetlana. Here are Svetlana’s tips for doing laps.

7 Very Important Rules For Lap Swimming

 

  1. Don’t swallow the water
  2. Be cognizant of what’s going on around you (much like you would on the street). This includes but is not necessarily limited to knowing these facts:
    -the shallower end lane is for slow swimmers
    -if there are two people in the lane – you can divvy up the lane in half
    -if there are more than two people in the lane, you can all circle swim and do so counterclockwise
    -if you are approaching someone and want to pass them, tapping them on the foot is acceptable. Grabbing their ass, splashing them, crowding them without warning etc- NOT ACCEPTABLE.
    -don’t dive into lanes with other swimmers in them – sure your dive form is beautiful but you’re also a dick and you’re scaring people who are under water and have no clue what’s happening.
  3. Don’t swallow the water
  4. No dillydallying – it is OK if you are slow, it is OK if you are old, everything is OK – but if you are in a lap lane, YOU HAVE TO KEEP MOVING. Commit to the lane.
  5. Don’t swallow the water
  6. Don’t pee or poop or throw Babe Ruth candy bars in the water either. This is not Caddyshack. We all wish it was, but sadly, it isn’t.
  7. Seriously, don’t swallow the water.

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Though the point of going to the pool is to get in the water, the point of going to the pool isn’t really about the water. It doesn’t actually matter if you enter the place with the water. What matters is what you read while lying down on a towel near the pool. Here are five summer book picks from Svetlana and Brandon Wetherbee.

Poolside Reading

Bellweather Rhapsody by Kate Racculia

As we all know, one of my favorite genres to consume by the water is a thriller. And this Shining-meets-Glee newcomer seems to have all the ingredients for you to just dive into it and never dive out. The fact that the captive hotel setting and a classical music backdrop adds an additional layer of Agatha Christie deliciousness to it only helps. From the Booklist review: “Twelve-year-old Minnie Graves is not happy. Not only is she forced to be a bridesmaid at her big sister’s wedding but also her feet hurt and her dress itches. But there’s worse to come. Before the day is out, she will witness a murder-suicide. Flash-forward 15 years to the anniversary of the fatal incident and Minnie returns to the scene of the crime, the gracious old Bellweather Hotel. It’s a special weekend: the annual statewide music ­conference is ­being held there, which has brought teen twins Rabbit (real name Bert) and Alice Hatmaker to participate in the event. Also present is the eccentric Scottish conductor Fisher Brodie and the truly vile Viola Fabian, who is heading the conference. Before you can say plot point, Viola’s daughter, Jill, has vanished—after apparently committing suicide (it’s complicated). Whodunit? Well, it could be any of the above or perhaps the twins’ chaperone, Natalie Wilson, or even Harold Hastings, the hotel’s elderly concierge.” -SL

Bittersweet by Miranda Beverly-Whittermore
ANOTHER THRILLER. Beverly-Whittermore’s novel starts out like something you’ve read before (maybe in Curtis Sittenfield’s Prep?) but ends up being a twisty, turny, guilt-free pleasure cross between A Secret History and ABC’s Revenge (as I type this Donna Tartt is probably turning in her grave). A scholarship kid (Mabel Dagmar, as unremarkable as her name indicates) comes to stay for the summer with the family of her glamorous college roommate (Genevra “Ev” Winslow, as willowy and petulent as her name indicates) and finds herself entangled in a web of family secrets and skeletons, each more scandalous and scary than the next. Unputdownable. -SL

Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces That Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Ed Catmull, Amy Wallace

This book is about how Pixar became Pixar. It doesn’t have the word Pixar in the title because there’s a silhouette of Buzz Lightyear conducting an orchestra on the cover. If you’re going to read one self-help/management/inspirational book in 2014, I recommend this. Catmull doesn’t have the overpowering personality of a Steve Jobs but he worked with him for multiple years. Catmull doesn’t have the visionary prowess of George Lucas but he worked with him for multiple years. Catmull doesn’t come from Disney but he’s been working with Disney for years. It’s not a memoir, it’s a book that can be read as an interesting history lesson or a way to make something great with a wide array of varied individuals. -BW

Inside The Dream Palace by Sherill Tippins

The Chelsea Hotel is one of those seemingly magical places where rock stars meet once and make art from a memorable night, painters are inspired to make avant garde masterpieces, writers write their masterpieces and junkies are everywhere. It was kinda once that. The under-construction, closed/not closed building has a storied history and author Sherill Tippins has done a damn fine job cataloging the 100+ reasons it’s still important 100+ years after it was build. Great for the history/heroin buff. In fact, it’s possible to care less about the 60s ad 70s drug lore and still really like this book. -BW

One More Thing by BJ Novak

Very funny. Very smart. Very everything you want your imaginary summer boyfriend to be. In book form. The story about watching shows in heaven is mandatory reading for any BYT reader. -SL

One must at least attempt to wear swimwear near people swimming. District StyleFile columnist Marissa Rubenstein has strong opinions on what you should be wearing poolside this summer. 

ALSO please please please remember to cover up. Maaji makes great cover-ups. Wear sunscreen. Do it. 

3 Suits For Women

Plain Scoop One-Piece Swimsuit $35

The swim suit you will see absolutely everywhere in person and on social media.

Women’s High Leg High Waist Bikini Bottom – Xhilaration

Buying a Target swimsuit during summer is inevitable and we all know it.

Polka Dot Bikini Set

Cute, Cheap, Classic.

3 Suits For Men

Mens Slim Fit Quick Dry Short Swim Trunks with Mesh Lining ~$20

Getting clothes from Amazon is very much a thing now.

The Swim Short $45

Simple and classy, just like you I’m sure

9″ board short $70

For the more of a 9″ kind of guy.

 

ACTUAL POOL INFORMATION THAT IS VERY USEFUL

D.C. POOLS

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Anacostia

1800 Anacostia Drive SE, Washington D.C. 20020

  • Tuesday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm
  • Lap Swim: Tuesday – Friday 8:00am – 10:00am

Banneker 

2500 Georgia Avenue NW, Washington D.C. 20001

  • Monday – Wednesday, Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm
  • Lap Swim: Monday – Wednesday, Friday 8:00am – 10:00am

Benning Park

5100 Southern Avenue SE, Washington D.C. 20019

  • Monday – Wednesday, Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

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Douglass

1921 Frederick Douglass Ct. SE, Washington D.C. 20020

  • Monday – Tuesday, Thursday-Friday 11:00am – 6:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

East Potomac

972 Ohio Drive, SW, Washington D.C. 20024

  • Monday – Tuesday, Thursday-Friday 11:00pm – 7:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm
  • *This facility is currently closed for renovations, according to the D.C. Department of Parks and Recreation.*

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Fort Dupont

830 Ridge Road SE, Washington D.C. 20019

  • Monday, Wednesday- Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Fort Stanton

1800 Erie St SE, Washington D.C. 20020

  • Monday-Wednesday, Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Francis

2435 N Street NW, Washington D.C. 20037

  • Monday, Wednesday-Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Harry Thomas Sr. 

1743 Lincoln Road NE, Washington D.C. 20002

  • Monday, Wednesday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Jelleff Recreation Center

3265 S Street NW, Washington D.C. 20007

  • Monday – Tuesday, Thursday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

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Kelly Miller

4900 Brooks St NE, Washington D.C. 20019

  • Tuesday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Langdon Park

2860 Mills Avenue NE, Washington D.C. 20018

  • Monday – Wednesday, Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

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Oxon Run

501 Mississippi Avenue SE, Washington D.C. 20032

  • Tuesday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Randall

2860 Mills Avenue NE, Washington D.C. 20018

  • Tuesday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

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Rosedale

1701 Gales Street NE, Washington D.C. 20002

  • Monday – Tuesday, Thursday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm
  • Lap Swim: Monday – Tuesday, Thursday – Friday 8:00am – 9:30am

Theodore Hagan 

3201 Fort Lincoln Drive NE, Washington D.C. 20018

  • Tuesday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

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Upshur

4300 Arkansas Avenue NW, Washington D.C. 20011

  • Tuesday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Volta Park

1555 34th St. NW, Washington D.C. 20007

  • Tuesday – Friday 11:00am – 8:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 6:00pm
  • Lap Swim: 8:00am – 9:30am

MONTGOMERY COUNTY POOLS

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Rockville Swim and Fitness Center

355 Martins Lane, Rockville, MD 20850

  • Saturday and Sundays 12:00-9:00 pm (Recreation Pool) 10:00am – 9pm (Fitness Pool)
  • Monday-Friday  7:30 – 8:20 am 12:00 – 2:00 pm 6:00 – 8:00 pm (Fitness Pool Only)

Fees: $4.80 – $7

Bethesda Swimming Pool

Little Falls Parkway and Hillandale Road, Bethesda, MD 20815

  • June 16 – August 17: Weekdays 1:00pm – 8:00pm, Weekends 12:00pm – 8:00pm, Closes at 6:00pm on July 4th
  • August 18 – September 3: Weekdays: 1:00pm – 7:00pm, Weekends and Labor Day 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Fees: $5 – $10

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Wheaton – Glenmont Outdoor Pool

12621 Dalewood Dr., Silver Spring, MD 20906

  • June 16 – August 17: Weekdays 1:00pm – 8:00pm, Weekends 12:00pm – 8:00pm, Closes at 6:00pm on July 4th
  • August 18 – September 3: Weekdays: 1:00pm – 7:00pm
  • Weekends and Labor Day from August 18 – September 3: 12:00pm – 6:00pm

Fees: $5 – $10

Long Branch Swimming Pool

8700 Piney Branch Rd, Silver Spring MD, 20901

  • June 16 – August 17: Weekdays 1:00pm – 8:00pm, Weekends 12:00pm – 8:00pm, Closes at 6:00pm on July 4th. Closed on Fridays
  • August 18-19: 12:00pm – 6:00pm
  • Closed for the season starting August 20

Fees: $5 – $10

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY

Ellen E. Linson Splash Park

5211 Paint Branch Parkway, College Park, MD 20740

  • Monday – Friday 12:00pm – 6:00pm
  • Weekends 12:00pm – 7:00pm
  • Closes at 4:00pm on July 4

Fees: $5 – $8

Hamilton Splash Park

3901 Hamilton Street Hyattsville, MD 20781 Hours:

  • June 14-August 18: Monday, Wednesday, Friday 12pm-5:45
  • June 14-July 28 & August 15-18: Tuesday, Thursday 12pm-7:45pm
  • August 1-10: Tuesday, Thursday 12pm-5:45pm
  • August 19-September 4: Tuesday, Thursday Closed. Monday, Wednesday, Friday 12pm-4:45pm
  • Weekends: 12pm-6:45pm

Fees: $5 – $8

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J. Franklyn Bourne Memorial Pool

6500 Calmos Street (Dateleaf Ave), Seat Pleasant, MD 20743

  • Mondays, Wednesdays: 12:00pm – 7:45pm
  • Fridays: 12:00pm – 5:45pm
  • Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturday-Sunday: 12:00pm – 4:45pm

Fees: $5 – $8

ARLINGTON COUNTY

Ocean Dunes

6060 Wilson Blvd, Arlington, VA 22205

  • May 29- June 14: Monday-Thursday, Closed. Friday, 3:00pm-7:00pm. Weekends, 11:00am-7:00pm
  • June 16 – September 3: 11:00am – 7:00pm
  • Weekends 11:00am – 7:00pm
  • June 15 12pm-7:00pm
  • July 4th: 11:00am – 6:00pm

Fees: $5 – $8.75

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ALEXANDRIA

Great Waves Waterpark

4001 Eisenhower Avenue, Alexandria, VA 22304

  • Memorial Day Weekend: 11:00am-7:00pm
  • May 29-June 18: Monday-Thursday, Closed. Friday-Sunday, 3:00pm-7:00pm.
  • June 19-20: 1:00pm – 7:00pm
  • June 21 – September 3: 11:00am – 7:00pm
  • July 4th: 11:00am – 6:00pm

Fees: $8.25 – $15.75

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Old Town

1609 Cameron St., Alexandria, VA 22314

  • Weekends from May 26- September 9: 12:45pm-6:45pm
  • May 29-June 20: Weekdays, 4:30pm-7:45pm
  • June 25-July 31: Weekdays 6:00am-7:30am (Pass holders Only)
  • June 21-August 17: Weekdays, 12:00pm-7:45 p.m.
  • August 20-31: Weekdays, 4:45pm-7:45pm
  • Holidays – May 28, July 4 & September 3: 10:00am-5:45pm
  • September 4-7: Weekdays, 6:00am-7:30am & 4:30pm-7:45pm

Fees: $2 – $5

Warwick

3301 Landover St., Alexandria, VA 22305

  • May 26 – September 9: Saturdays & Sundays, 11:00am-6:45pm
  • May 29 – June 20: Weekdays, 4:30pm-7:45pm
  • June 21 – July 31: Weekdays, 12:00pm-7:45pm
  • August 1-17: Weekdays, 12:00pm-7:45pm
  • August 20 – September 7: Weekdays, 4:30pm-7:45pm
  • Holidays: May 28, July 4 & Sept 3: 10am-5:45pm

How an intern got hired and stopped BYT from doing pool parties ever again by Brandon Weight

To all incoming D.C. interns: suffer a 500 cc blood loss, an eight gin and-tonic and two Coronarita™ induced stupor, and lung problems from smoking half a pack of Camel™ menthols in a pool before the lifeguard says anything, all in front of your company’s founders, you will get a job. And they will never throw a pool party again.

During preemptive job interview, I proceeded after four drinks to exit the pool with an average dick length scar. After eight drinks, I got caught ashing in the deep end complaining about America’s lack of freedom on the Fourth of July. After nine drinks, I uptalked a fellow intern to brunch and/or drinks? Worst of all, after ten drinks, I added a tilt-shift blur to an Instagram.

Now I have a girlfriend and a salaried position.

Go full H.A.G.S. like your high school yearbooks still demand. Hit up a happy hour before you drop by any of these pools. Avoid the diving boards, food, and your dignity. Bring your résumé, laminated if possible.

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