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WHEREIN: We bring you the developments (happening in and around D.C.) that we think are newsworthy, or, at the very least, almost newsworthy:

  • Milo Yiannopoulos flipped out on local coffee shop Emissary D.C. on Facebook and now they’re receiving a ton of charming messages. And by charming I mean a ton of hateful, racist, homophobic phone calls, reviews and messages. Cool. (via DCist)
  • A new ice cream shop is coming to 14th Street. Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams opens up on October 5 at 1925 14th Street NW. Make sure to stop by between 7 p.m. and 11 p.m. for a free scoop. (via press release)

  • Your cigarettes might get a little more expensive. (via DCist)
  • Swine flu is coming for you. Maybe. (via Fox 5)
  • In more upsetting animal news, a woman got bit by a snake inside of a LongHorn Steakhouse in Virginia. (via WTOP)

  • Here’s a handy guide to figuring out which dockless bikeshare company deserves your cold hard cash. (via DCist)
  • Brace yourself, the Trader Joe’s in Capitol Hill opens this week. (via WBJ)
  • These are the “sexiest” new restaurants in D.C. Feel free to call them RILFs. (via City Paper)

  • And here are some of the best veggie burgers in D.C. (via City Paper)
  • Spike Mendelsohn is taking over The Chickery and my mouth is watering just reading the menu. To be fair, I also didn’t have lunch today. (via City Paper)