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WHEREIN: We bring you the developments (happening in and around D.C.) that we think are newsworthy, or, at the very least, almost newsworthy:

  • A maniac attacked people with bleach outside of Black Whiskey yesterday because not enough bad things are happening in the world. (via City Paper)
  • Safe Track might be over, but there’s no end in sight for our Metro nightmares. (via WAMU)

  • Dave Chappelle stopped by Ben’s yesterday to check out his mural. (via Washingtonian)
  • Kwame Onwuachi post-Shaw Bijou restaurant is going to be at the InterContinental hotel at the Warf and we sincerely wish him luck. (via Eater)

  • City Paper has a list of 50 underrated food spots in D.C. and they are making us all very hungry. (via City Paper)
  • Speaking of food (kind of…?) the Comet Ping Pong gunman has been sentenced to four years in prison. (via DCist)
  • A local five-year-old boy wrote a book that’s proceeds go toward homeless veterans and nope I’m not crying hahahha what are you talking about? (via WUSA9)