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WHEREIN: We bring you the developments (happening in and around D.C.) that we think are newsworthy, or, at the very least, almost newsworthy:

  • Metro is dreaming about their 8000 series cares because thinking about the present is depressing. (via GGW)
  • Speaking of Metro, they’re testing talking escalators. I’m not even going to humor this with a response. (via WAMU)

  • Parking meter rates downtown will now rise and fall due to demand because life is a nightmare. This is probably Uber’s fault right? (via Post)
  • More international tourists are visiting D.C. than ever. I assume to stare in awe at whats happening in our country? (via NBC)

  • Real Housewives of Potomac are coming back! I guess the world is going to be okay after all. (via DCist)
  • Pizzeria Paradiso has a brand new beer director and she’s obsessed with gruits???? (via City Paper)

  • Tom Sietsema gives Ivy City Smokehouse his hard fought approval. (via Post)
  • In more food news, Sterling gets an all you can eat sushi joint that uses iPads instead of servers. Welcome to the future. (via Washingtonian)
  • Your long read of the day.