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WHEREIN: We bring you the developments (happening in and around D.C.) that we think are newsworthy, or, at the very least, almost newsworthy:

  • The weather is going continue to be bonkers and nonsensical all week long. (via Post)
  • A sex offender with a slew of face tattoos was captured in D.C. yesterday. (via WUSA)
  • Some locals think the Zoo should #FreeOllie. I guess it makes sense when you consider the fact that it’s 2017 and we can do whatever we want. (via Washingtonian)

  • Still don’t know what’s really going on in your pants? There’s an adult sex class that can help you with that. (via City Paper)
  • Here’s what it’s like to be an undocumented immigrant in D.C. (via Post)
  • Take a more in depth look into Metro’s crime stats. (via WAMU)
  • This is what it’s actually like to be a nude figure model. (via City Paper)

  • Esquire dives deep into the man who is opening a sushi restaurant in Trump’s hotel.
  • You might already have the reservation, but there’s more you need to know if you’re really going to impress your date next Tuesday. (via Post)