WHEREIN: We bring you the developments (happening in and around D.C.) that we think are newsworthy, or, at the very least, almost newsworthy…
- You’ll soon be able to snitch on your neighbors / total strangers if they do a bad job at parking. I understand on one level that this could be a good thing, but on a more primal level, I hate it!
- José Andrés is in the Bahamas feeding people affected by Dorian because of course he is. His energy makes me tired. I will never be good as people who jog and I will never be as good as José Andrés.
- Speaking of people whose altruism makes me feel overwhelmed, it’s been three years since DCPL partnered with Dolly Parton on her Books From Birth program and in that time they’ve mailed out a million free books. Parton ended her letter about the milestone with the line “I Will Always Love You.” The capital letters are weird, but I’m crying nonetheless.
- The African American History Museum is still so hot, they’ll continue their timed pass program into the new year. Like Metro, there will be “off-peak” days where you wont need a pass. This will confuse all of your relatives and they will take it out on you when they visit. I’m warning you in advance.
- Silver Spring has a huge pet cemetery (50,000+ animals!) and I’m moving in this week. I’m living at the pet cemetery now. I know Stephen King warned us about this with his hard hitting long form article Pet Sematary, but I’m different.
- The Kennedy Center’s new expansion is hot, but its vague statements about “breaking down the boundaries between audience and art” are not! If The REACH was a contestant on Next, would you send them back to the bus?
- Call the police, people in this city (maybe even around the world?) are still watching American Idol.
- Eater has a list of all the hot new restaurants you’ll be fighting for reservations at come fall. Another year, another series of places I will never be able to get into because I refuse to wait in lines or get up early to make reservations! I live a life of leisure.
- Smorgasburg is back from summer vacation and they did not do the required reading (but they did bring enough snacks for the whole class).
- In more, unending food news (do I write about food too much in this column? Please let me know), The Meatball Shop packed up its balls and got out of dodge. Goodbye forever you weirdos.
- But forget about closures, Peregrine Espresso is celebrating their 11th birthday with free coffee. Today. Go get it!
