WHEREIN: We bring you the developments (happening in and around D.C.) that we think are newsworthy, or, at the very least, almost newsworthy:
- Don’t take the orange or silver lines today. You deserve better than that.
- I don’t know about you but I forgot lying in honor was a thing.
- A broadway play about D.C. referenced a fake Washingtonian article but now the article is real so I guess the moral here is that reality is thin and you can use chaos magic to inflict your will upon the universe and wow I really didn’t get enough sleep last night.
- Have your been avoiding 14th Street for so long you forgot about all of its restaurants? No worries! Eater is here to jog your memory.
- Old Glory might be gone forever, but the old BBQ place is about to become something even better, a José Andrés brand America Eats Tavern.
- Kevin Durant seems like a nice man.
- D.C. students are planning more walkouts. When I was in high school we tried to plan a walkout in my Spanish class but it had nothing to do with pursuing vital causes and everything to do with wanting to skip Spanish class. What I’m trying to say is teens keep getting better and better.
- This is not D.C. news but I do want an Instant Pot and this article only strengthens my resolve to get someone else to buy me one.
- This is also not D.C. specific news, but it is the dumbest thing I’ve read all day and I love reading dumb shit, so you know it has to be bad.