WHEREIN: We bring you the developments (happening in and around D.C.) that we think are newsworthy, or, at the very least, almost newsworthy:
- Everything sucked this morning. And by everything, I mean the red line.
- In the best thing to ever happen in Virginia (probably) Pusha-T got married. Yes, Kanye and Kim were there.
- Look. At. These. Cheetah. Babies.
- A woman was impaled by an umbrella in Ocean City and oh my god it’s all of my nightmares come to life. (She’s fine, by the way, although I will be haunted by this possibility for the rest of my days).
- Teens run everything (even the Smithsonian).
- Want some free bees? Virginia is just giving them away.
- The Green Zone is finally here! Drink up.
- Villain & Saint was robbed last night, but luckily a local bartender found all of the booze / equipment and kept it safe.
- In more food / booze news, The folks behind Thip Khao are expanding their Loatian dining empire. Thank god.
- This isn’t D.C. news, but RIP Jonathan Gold.