Hey everyone! This week’s BEST WEEKEND BETS are, as always, hand selected from BYT ALL CITY and carefully calibrated for maximum fun and minimum stress, and will be punctuated with inspirational images of Homer Simpson on account of both FATHER’S DAY and the BYT/WOOLLY Mammoth Simpsons themed Mr. Burns cheap date night this Sunday.

A COUPLE OF PSAs before we start:

• WE NOW PUBLISH NYC BEST WEEKEND BETS TOO-tell all your New York friends to subscribe to it + follow us over there on twitter @BYTNYC
• kill some time perusing some recent amazing BYT photo sets: our #EPIC Bonnaroo report, our #EPIC Wildlife PRIDE photo set etc

AND- we have a couple of AMAZING BYT events coming your way soon:

• NEXT WEEK! a very special National Geographic + BYT After Hours/Local Tourist event is happening for June 22nd. We just added a bajillion bands, perfomances, explorers and more to this-so you really, really don’t want to miss out. DETAILS+TICKETS HERE.
• + some other really awesome/exciting stuff coming up-Like a July 4th pool party and more.

OK-ready for the weekend now?

THURSDAY

• HAPPY FLAG DAY! Celebrate your DC-ness in the process by attending the 2nd annual DC FLAG DAY party in Dupont Circle-temporary tattoos and more for everyone!
• then-follow the trail of well dressed women and men who love well dressed women to the Corcoran where ISABEL TOLEDO is having a book party.
• after that-looking for a different dining experience than your usual DC offerings? Cuba Libre’s Pop Up Paladar is having it’s final night this week featuring authentic Cuban delicacies courtesy of one of Havana’s best chef, in town only this week. Details and tickets here.
• then-lots of quality (and worldly shows): TINARIWEN (who blew our minds last time they were here) are @ The Howard, Brazilian Girls are @ 930 Club and the new edition of ALL THINGS GOLD feat. Mystery Jets is @ U Hall (click here for a chance to win a pair of tickets)
• and the lovely Marisa Nadler is @ DC9. Prepare to fall in love.
• in the mood for some theatre? THE ANIMALS AND CHILDREN @ Studio Theatre is pretty mindblowing (see our review here) and THE BACCHAE at the Artisphere black box apparently involves: “Sex, religion, music & wine all colliding in this revamped classic.” Sounds good to us.
• + ALL SORTS OF other stuff

FRIDAY

• BUY YOURSELF SOME CONCERT TICKETS BEFORE THEY SELL OUT AND STUFF, k?
• ok-lets paint you a picture: it is a nice, balmy evening, you’re sitting on the grass somewhere and enjoying great music and/or dance. Nothing not to love, right? Sitting-on-grass-entertainment-options for tonight include:
• The Beach Boys @ Merriweather (50th anniversary tour no less-I still keep holding out hope against hope that John Stamos will be there too so we can all pretend to be in a Kokomo video), Riverdance (!) @ Wolf Trap or on the free side of thing, Jazz in the Sculpture Garden.
• Not on grass BUT bound to be awesome and super rockin’: JEFF the Brotherhood are @ Red Palace or Balkan Beat Box @ 930 Club
• One of BYT’s favorite local dancers, Kelly Bond can be seen tonight @ Dance Place alongside Gabrielle Revlock and Nicole Binlder. Should be enchanting.
• The Source festival is in full swing. Tonight, check out Etheareal Encounters @ 6 or Uses of Enchantment @ 9.
• The 16th Annual Washington, DC Summer Masquerade Ball. Sounds very odd and awesome. Futuristic steampunk clans.
• Grupo Fantasma are @ Black Cat
• like funny, cute girls with nerd glasses? (that was a trick question)-Ali Wong is @ Riot Act all weekend long.
• + ALL SORTS OF other stuff

SATURDAY

• during daytime: things get weird @ Hillyer with BLOWOUT! a DC performance art festival
• or go eat some pig at the PIG ROAST on the patio of The Heights. Deee-licious.
• or BIKES+BEER=Tour de Fat, which hits DC today.
• afterwards:
• Have you been watching those Great Gatsby previews and looking for a perfect opportunity to dress up? WELL, LOOK NO MORE. Tonight- there is a Gatsby themed ball at the National Museum of Women in the Arts that promises to be chock-a-block full with dropped waists and sharply tailored white summer suits.
• then also: Dan-freakin-Bejar (Aka Destroyer) is @ 930 club. READ OUR AMAZING INTERVIEW WITH HIM HERE AND GO. No, seriously-GO!
• also good shows: Theresa Andersson @ The Hamilton and Ramona Falls is @ Red Palace (interview forthcoming)
• + BYT local faves FRAU EVA are having an album release at BLACK CAT. Support away.
• Been meaning to check out “The Servant of Two Masters” @ Shakespeare Theatre Co? Under 35? Well, you’re in luck because you can get tickets to it for $15. DO IT.
• things get a little more interesting in Capitol Hill on Saturdays: Capitol Lounge’s back patio is now featuring awesome DJs (this week it is Stereofaith),a late night happy hour sponsored by Alaska Distillery and Old Dominion from 9pm-11pm with an Ice luge, Snow Cone Maker, grilled foods and a few other summer themed surprises.
• + a secret location dance party with those STRANGER THAN PARADISE folks. and you know how you love those.
• + ALL SORTS OF other stuff

SUNDAY

• HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
• RECORD FAIR returns
• Movie day. It is indie movie release explosion this week: YOUR SISTERS SISTER, SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED, LOLA VERSUS (oh, and I guess Rock of Ages) all open. Check back in on Friday to our FILM SECTION for all these reviews + our interview with indie demi-God of 2012 Mark Duplass to boot.
• if you’re more into hugging a pillow and being best friends with your TV-please refer to our weekly at-home-entertainment guide for instant netflix and on-demand recommendations. Yes, we try to think of everything for you.
• or-take day drinking to a whole new level-order yourself a CUBA LIBRE @ Bar Pilar, a magical alcoholic float which starts off in a highball glass made from a salvaged Coke bottle, topped with a cherry soaked in brandy and Southern Comfort, and a mound of housemade absinthe whipped cream. #HEAVEN.
• THEN-as we mentioned bond with us, The Simpsons and post-apocalyptic America @ Woolly Mammoth. It is cheap date night so tickets are only $20. Nothing not to love.
• NEKO CASE is @ Rams Head
• + ALL SORTS OF other stuff

NEXT WEEK BONUS:

• We have a fun Capitol Fringe kick-off happy hour on Monday – with DJs Natty Boom & Ryan Holladay. yay!
• AND the aforementioned NAT GEO after hours we’re pouring our heart and souls and whatnot into. So-come.

REMEMBER: THERE ARE A BAJILLION OTHER THINGS TO DO LISTED IN BYT ALL CITY, so use it (to both post your events and search for them) and if you think we may have missed something, comment away–you know you want to.

and as a parting note: chin up, things are not as bad as they seem