All right, dolls, we are at the finale and some bitch is going home with $100,000 and a big-ass crown… And let’s be honest, we KNOW it’s not Roxxxy!
Let’s do a final review of our fierce competitors and check out the costuming, hair and makeup on this reunion show! There were some hits but dear God there were some motherfucking misses. Speaking of… Lets start with Penny Tration.
Penny Tration – Honey, you already got read for your ensemble on the very first episode and booted off! You would’ve thought after all this time you would’ve been plotting and planning a better final look… Well at least I would have …you looked a hot steaming mess! #SorryBoutIt
Serena Cha-Cha – Not bad in look and hair but dear God, honey, close your mouth. Ur purse is about to fall out!
Monica BeverlyHillz – Face And Body … but not digging the flowing ’70s frock.
Honey Mahogany – Oh, yes ma’am! You better work that Merlin magicians robe for all it’s worth… Girl, she’s casting spells!
Vivienne Penne – Elleganza! Sick-O-Ning. Get into it! Werked the entire look! Loved it.
Lineysha Sparks – Twerk! If Honey was serving Merlin, Lineysha was serving evil dragon realness!
Jade Jolie – I can’t.. I can’t even… Unicorn…too many things to many words…sighs.
Ivy Winters – Yes ma’am, motherfucking Pam classic elegant sexy-work mama!
Alyssa Edwards – I think I’m having an ’80s/early-’90s. Flashback… DJ Tanner?
CoCo Montrese – You better work that runway in Michelle’s favorite color – Puke Green.
Detox – You monochromatic motherfucking bitch, you better serve it like it is in black and white! Work! Serve! You stole the goddamn runway!
Alaska – Guuurl…trailer park realness. Get into it!
Jinkx Monsoon – High-end Call-Girl!
Roxxxy Andrews – Don’t understand why you would want this to be your final look on this season of Drag Race … it’s not flattering.
RuPaul – blinding in pure white!
This year the reunion was flawless with celebrity appearances and witty retorts. (I’m looking at you, Miss Penny Tration. Girl, you slayed me.) I’m kind of sad to see this season go. My highlights of the year were Miss Detox because she served true fierceness on every level. I really believe that she deserved to be on top three. But we can’t forget the many faces of Alyssa Edwards; homegirl kept me cracking up all season long–fishy face fishy face to twerk and serve miss thang!
And of course that brings us to our winner. Like anyone really was surprised it was Jinx Monsoon–congratulations, girl, you earned it. Honey, you had the Internet a-buzz with nothing but love and admiration for you! Yes ma’am, honey, kill them with kindness!
Thank you for all for sticking with me all season and for reading my drunken ramblings!
Always and Forever,
And for more on DC’s queer nightlife scene, follow the @BYGays on Twitter.