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Today we are talking about them tight ass Blue Jeans.

Though cowboys invented Blue Jeans, and my jewish forefathers in San Francisco perfected their stitching and design, nothing says Real Country like High Waisted Wrangers.

Nothing says: ‘I want to rope you and brand you, darlin‘ like a ZZ Top style slide-N-slap right on the sky blue pear of your well-armored behind, does it or doesn’t it?

Jeans mean freedom but combined with tight restrictions, the tighter the better. I choose to live loosely says your crotch and knees, loosely protected by endlessly rising unbreakable weave of sackcloth to prevent injury to my flesh or soul that is!

High-jeans are the Cowboy’s best friend when a bull takes a poke at him, and his worst enemy when he’s the bull and the target is a sweet missy shying from post-hoedown hayride, matadoring his manhood with an inoperable labyrinth of cross-continental zippers and button flies unto button flies. Ride ’em in, ride ’em out, raw hide.


Get your best jean ensemble together to rip off to reveal an all jean bathing suit this Saturday at our 3rd of July America Celebration: Cowboy Camp the Pool Party. Yee/haw.