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All words: Alex Clifford

All photos: Dakota Fine

See the full photo set here… or just click on any of the images in this post, dood.

I had originally intended this post to run first thing last week, but after Jeff’s jalopy tuckered out before the festivities even took off, this post got pushed onto the back-burner. However, thanks to Alex’s awesome write-up and the, well, the scenic backdrop provided thanks to the fanfare, the festival, the carnies, the smashing cars, and the setting sun, I felt I had to share this with you all… chronology be damned, it’s all the internet anyways, which means, more fun shit to look at while you’re at work… 😉 -Dakota

Conspicuous consumption of a falling empire or the only appropriate post-funnel cake digestif? No one gives a shit when the spiked radiators start hissing steam and a few battered survivors weave through that maze of disabled vehicles, stalking each other on off-axis rims.
With apologies to the miniature Sicilian donkey, last Saturday’s Demolition Derby was the highlight of the Montgomery County Agricultural Fair.

The MoCo Fair is a strange beast — how can one of the nation’s wealthiest counties, packed full of divot-stomping assholes, possibly support an agricultural fair, let alone a demolition derby? Well, the livestock came from all over the state and the demo drivers seemed mostly Annapolis or B-more suburb-based, but the rednecks were locals. I’d somehow forgotten that Clarksburg, Damascus and Boyds are all part of Montgomery County.

It made for a surprisingly knowledgeable and participatory demolition derby crowd. There was foot-stomping to start each round, and the people’s acclaim rained down on the victors. We gasped and screamed when cars went airborne or came close to rolling, we were all furious that the fair was dry, and we all maintained decorum when, just a few seats away, the Queen of this year’s Montgomery County Agricultural Fair, still in her sash, chose to grace us with her presence.

Minutes later, when a station wagon with a locked-up rear tire reversed into a cop-looking Caprice at 30 MPH, she leapt out of her seat, bellowing with fists clenched , as wrapped up in the moment as any of us common folk. Demolition Derby magic.

Sadly, the $385 BYT Car’s engine kicked out, so they couldn’t get it to the race, and I was forced to adopt the 10-L car from “Mercedes of Annapolis” as my own. The brilliant blue paint job, the regular stenciling, the surprising durability (they clearly illegally welded something in as frame support) and the absolutely reckless driver won me over. They did those Daimler boys proud.

The next fair on my radar screen is the Fredneck County Fair (this year’s motto: Great Ag-spectations), but with no demo derby it can’t possibly measure up.

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