Chicago Best Weekend Bets

It’s David Bowie’s birthday this week! He’s whoever you want him to be! Hooray, David Bowie!

Also, tell all your friends to subscribe to the Chicago mailing list. We gave away tickets to Riot Fest and Lollapalooza to Chicago mailing list subscribers. We’ll continue to give away things in 2016. Hopefully David Bowie will play Lollapalooza. He ain’t playing Riot Fest.

We write stuff. Here’s some of that stuff from the last week that may be applicable to your preferences!

Katie McVay wrote the very helpful Men Not to Fuck in 2016 piece. A lot of people commented. A lot of men got upset. Whatever. Here’s her new piece: Dating Resolutions for 2K16.
Mary Houlihan is our Funny Human of the Week.
Ian Douglas Terry is one of the producers of the CROM Comedy Festival. Here’s his essay on submitting to a comedy festival.

Our sweet Mr. Dave is turning 68 (one more year, fellas!) tomorrow. Berlin night club has a one-of-a-kind party planned to celebrate the special day, which happens to also be the day his new album comes out! What a coincidence! This will be fun!
High quality MC Jean Grae headlines the Show Show alongside Dave Helem and Felonious Munk at The Pomontory. This thing looks very cool!
Go check out a screening of Jim Jarmusch’s Permanent Vacation at The Nightingale. Jarmusch rules!
The Empty Bottle has a foursome of local experimental rockers tonight, featuring Groves, Boxing Fetish, Pool Holograph, and Autumn Island.
Locals The Bon Mots, The Differents, and Sam Vicari play Schubas tonight!
The Naked Gun is a very funny movie! You can go see it on the big screen at the Logan Theatre tonight if you want to!
Reliably great standup comedy show Congrats on Your Success returns for its first show of the year at Uncharted Books in Logan Square! Good stuff!
The Holiday Club hosts the latest installment of Story Club North Side, a storytelling show with a different theme each month! This month’s theme is “wrong number,” with performances from Randall Colburn, Gina Watters, and Alicia Swiz.
Singer/songwriter Brian Ritchey headlines a show at the Hideout with support from ExtraOcular and The American Man.
The Whistler hosts sets from a pair of local bands, The Field Recorders and Suspect.
The Bulls play the Boston Celtics tonight at the United Center. Go if you can, it’s fun to go to live sport games. Right David?

Ex-Chicagoan Beth Stelling returns home for a weekend of shows at Zanies. Beth is a fantastic comedian and you should definitely go see one of these shows.
Go to Schubas to see three local indie rock bands: Winded City, The Taillight Years, and Oops. It’ll be a nice time.
Oh DADDY what is this a free show at the Empty Bottle on dang FRYDEE? You better believe it. The Bottle celebrates the release of their 2016 calendar featuring artwork from their resident illustrator Joe Schorgl. Count on music from Friendlys, Wet Wallet, and Today’s Duets.
If they made Slapshot today it would be called Bad Hockey Player or something. Go see the 1977 version of Bad Hockey Player tonight at the Logan Theatre.
Okay so this is a few layers of density here, so stay with me: Crosseyed and Phishless are a tribute band inspired by Phish but don’t play any Phish songs, they instead cover songs that Phish cover, too. So like, Velvet Underground and Talking Heads songs played in the style of Phish by a band not featuring any members of Phish is I THINK what is happening at Subterranean tonight.
The Hideout hosts an all-character Roast of Donald Trump, featuring celebrities and politicians played by local comedians giving the business to one of the biggest pieces of shit to have ever lived.
Interview show The Interview Show is back at the Hideout again tonight, with special guests like novelist Stacey Ballis, WBEZ reporter and author Natalie Yvonne Moore, and musical guest Lindsay Weinberg.
MST3K/found footage mashup show VHS returns to @North for another evening of live standup comedy and riffing on weird old videotapes. Matty Ryan, Natalie Jose, Peter-John Byrnes, and Meredith Kachel all perform!
Yacht rock DJ collective Stay Smooth spins at the East Room tonight, which promises to be a Cool Night.
The Blackhawks play the Sabres tonight at the United Center. Watch it on TV or at the game, your choice!
Naked Girls Reading is exactly what it sounds like. A selection of nude women will sit on a stage, this month reading selections from Roald Dahl’s extensive works. I hear these shows are cool, but like, only go if you’re not gonna be a creep about it.
Very funny NYC-based standup Rachel Feinstein does a pair of shows at Up Comedy Club tonight, which is very cool and exciting!
Bottom Lounge hosts some damn indie wrasslin’ tonight with Fresh Poison presented by Freelance Wrestling! I bet this will be crazy!

Do some daytime stuff:
The Empty Bottle’s monthly Handmade Market craft fair starts your Saturday afternoon off right! Get some nice tchotchkes that nobody thought to get you for Christmas!
Go for a run in the cold with the Chicago Polar Dash. The Facebook event for races like these always seem to be full of confused people who don’t appear to use social media very often/well.
The Old Town School of Folk Music hosts a family-friendly Fiesta de Colores as a part of their Playdate series!
Lagunitas and Bloodshot records teamed up for a five course Beer Brunch at Schubas featuring free goodies from all parties involved!
Families accompanied by kids ages 12 and under get free admission into the Museum of Contemporary Art today! Get your kid some damn culture, huh?
Sidetrack in Boystown hosts a Saturday afternoon market, featuring food, drink, and craft vendors posted up throughout the bar.
Head over to 1st Ward in the back half of Chop Shop in Wicker Park for a taping of cult classic public access rock show Chic-a-Go-Go’s 20th anniversary season kickoff!
Two nice things, yoga and brunch, together at last today at A Bright New Year at Brightwok Kitchen in the Loop!
Saturday afternoon mid-day nap to get yourself feeling rested and cheerful.