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The 86th Annual Academy Awards ceremony is this Sunday, and BYT has strong opinions about it. I usually think one upset is an outright travesty – it’s no surprise that the typical Academy Member is a moron – while Svetlana will have plenty to say about speeches, outfits, and how Neil Patrick Harris does as the host. In an effort to set a benchmark for all upcoming Oscar predictions, here’s the definitive list of who will win, who should win, and who should have been nominated but wasn’t. You can follow along with the complete list of nominees here.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Who will win AND should win: JK Simmons, Whiplash

Who should NOT win: Robert Duvall, The Judge

Missing in action: Tyler Perry, Gone Girl. Don’t try and deny it.

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BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Who will win: Patricia Arquette, Boyhood

Who should win: Laura Dern, Wild

Who should NOT win: Meryl Streep, Into the Woods

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Missing in action: Carmen Ejogo, Selma

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY

Who will win: Emmanuel Lubezki, Birdman

Who should win: Dick Pope, Mr. Turner

Who should NOT win: Emmanuel Lubezki, Birdman

Missing in action: Hoyte van Hoytema, Interstellar

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BEST COSTUME DESIGN

Who will win: Milena Canonero, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Who should win: Mark Bridges, Inherent Vice

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Who should NOT win: Colleen Atwood, Into the Woods

Missing in action: Arjun Bhasin, Love is Strange

BEST ANIMATED SHORT, BEST SHORT FILM

We already covered Best Live Action Short and Best Animated Short. You’re on your own for Best Documentary Short (just pick the most depressing one).

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

BYT is protesting this category because The LEGO Movie was fucking robbed.

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BEST ORIGINAL SONG

What will win AND should win: “Everything is awesome” from The LEGO Movie

What should NOT win: “I’m Not Gonna Miss You” from Glen Campbell… I’ll Be Me

Missing in action: “Nothing’s Going to Stop Us Now” from The Skeleton Twins. Wiig and Hader make it their own.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Who will win AND who should NOT win: Jóhann Jóhannsson, The Theory of Everything

Who should win: Alexandre Desplat, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Missing in action: SQURL, Only Lovers Left Alive

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BEST SOUND EDITING

Who will win and who should NOT win: Martin Hernández and Aaron Glascock, Birdman

Who should win: Richard King, Interstellar

Missing in action: Steve Browell, Under the Skin

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS

Who will win AND who should win: Paul Franklin, Andrew Lockley, Ian Hunter and Scott Fisher, Interstellar

Who should NOT win: Dan DeLeeuw, Russell Earl, Bryan Grill and Dan Sudick, Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Missing in action: Asylum Models and Effects, Under the Skin

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BEST SOUND MIXING

Who will win AND should win: Craig Mann, Ben Wilkins and Thomas Curley, Whiplash

Who should NOT win: Jon Taylor, Frank A. Montaño and David Lee, Unbroken

Missing in action: Mahesh Depala, The Grand Budapest Hotel

BEST MAKE-UP AND HAIRSTYLING

Who will win AND should win: Frances Hannon and Mark Coulier, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Who should NOT win: Bill Corso and Dennis Liddiard, Foxcatcher. Carrell’s fake nose should be ashamed of itself.

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Missing in action: Christine Blundell, Mr Turner.

BEST FOREIGN FILM

What will win AND should win: Ida

What should NOT win: You know what? I’m not going to knock down any of the nominees. I haven’t seen all of them, for one thing, and it’s great thing that the Academy highlights world cinema.

Missing in action: Force Majeure 

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

What will win: Finding Vivian Maier

What should win: CitizenFour

What should NOT win: Last Days in Vietnam

Missing in action: The Overnighters

BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN

Who will win: Maria Djurkovic and Tatiana Macdonald, The Imitation Game

Who should win: Adam Stockhausen and Anna Pinnock, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Who should NOT win: Dennis Gassne and Anna Pinnock, Into the Woods. Someone should put Rob Marshall out of his misery.

Missing in action: Marco Bittner Rosser and Christiane Schmid, Only Lovers Left Alive

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BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Who will win: Damien Chazelle, Whiplash

Who should win: Graham Moore, The Imitation Game

Who should NOT win: Anthony McCarten, The Theory of Everything

Missing in action: Gillian Robespierre, Obvious Child

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BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Who will win and who should NOT win: Alejandro G. Iñárritu, Nicolás Giacobone, Alexander Dinelaris, Jr., Armando Bo, Birdman

Who should win: Dan Gilroy, Nightcrawler

Missing in action: Paul Webb, Selma

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BEST DIRECTOR

Who will win and should NOT win: Richard Linklater, Boyhood. In five years, in a manner to Spike Jonze’s abysmal Her, everyone will be embarrassed that they loved this movie so much. 

Who should win: Wes Anderson, The Grand Budapest Hotel

Missing in action: Ava DuVernay, Selma. It was nominated for Best Picture, and didn’t direct itself.

BEST ACTRESS

Who will win: Julianne Moore, Still Alice

Who should win: Rosamund Pike, Gone Girl

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Who should NOT win: Felicity Jones, The Theory of Everything

Missing in action: Jenny Slate, Obvious Child

BEST ACTOR

Who will win AND who should win: Michael Keaton, Birdman

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Who should NOT win: Steve Carrell, Foxcatcher

Missing in action: David Oyelowo, Selma

BEST PICTURE

What will win: Birdman. Once again, the Academy will make the most masturbatory choice.

What SHOULD win: Selma, Whiplash, or The Grand Budapest Hotel.

What should NOT win: Birdman, Boyhood, The Theory of Everything, American Sniper, or The Imitation Game. 

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Missing in action: Oh, God, too many to count. Fuck it: OBVIOUS CHILD FOR BEST PICTURE.

That’s it, folks! Do you disagree with any of these picks? You do? Then we’re sorry/not sorry that you’re wrong.

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