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I take the World Cup embarrassingly seriously. I turn into the SPORTS SPORTS SPORTS guy of your nightmares each time one rolls around, and for that I do sincerely apologize. But there is nothing to be done about it. SO HERE WE ARE! Locked in for about a month of me being insufferable. It should go without saying, then, that this week’s Wish List is World Cup themed.

A WHOLE MONTH OFF WORK.

I realize this is not a realistic thing to ask for, but it would be SO NICE to be able to watch any/all matches during the tournament. Stupid Russia and your time difference situation…we can’t all be watching matches between the hours of 6am and 4pm EST!

Argentina Squad Goals Shirt, $19.99

Argentina is my TEAM, y’all. I very much want to strut around town wearing this T-shirt, and bonus points for the fact that it’s black. Only black for me.

Messi Enamel Pin, $11.99

I mean, I live in Bushwick and I love Messi and my black denim jacket is looking lonely. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME.

AN ARGENTINE WIN.

Again, not a realistic ask that anyone can exactly pump into my Venmo, but dear god can they just get a win?! I was in Buenos Aires last World Cup for the heartbreaking loss against Germany (read about that here), and I just really hope that this can finally be the year of los pibes, y’know?

Sneaky Coke Beer Koozy, $5.65

I’m not planning on boozing super hard for most of these games (especially since many are hella early and on weekdays), but what if (in the event I AM drinking) I wanna take to the streets after a particularly moving performance and haven’t finished my beer? I feel like this solves all my potential problems.

Vintage 1994 Adidas USA World Cup Windbreaker, $75

We gotta rep the USA somehow, right? And this windbreaker is p. dope. (Here’s hoping the USWNT don’t fuck up qualifiers for 2019.)

It’s going to be a great time, you guys. FUTBOL4EVER.

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