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You deserve nice, cool things. We all do. So, every week one of the BYT editors will share what’s on top of their wish list right now so you know what it is we are coveting, and you can covet it as well (or even buy it). Simple as that. Megan Burns is back at it again this week with HER picks, and she wants you to know that she always has a v. difficult time with this column because material objects tend to make her feel suffocated! (The only piece of furniture she ever bought for her current apartment is her bed! She doesn’t even have a kitchen table! She is talking in the third person!) HERE WE GO!

Disobedience by Naomi Alderman – $13.25

I saw Disobedience in theaters, and my reaction to the entire second half of the movie was “What the FUCK?!” (I even whispered it aloud when the credits rolled.) If the film is any indication, I won’t like the book, either,  but at least I might have a little more context and/or understanding? Like don’t make me try to get into Rachel Weisz sexually spitting in Rachel McAadams’ mouth and then give me such a lame ass ending, Hollywood. I FEEL USED.

Tickets to see Alice Glass + Zola Jesus at Music Hall of Williamsburg on May 13 – $20 (Bottom Lounge for CHI on 5.9 and U Hall for DC on 5.12)

Ordinarily I would already have this sorted out, but there is nothing I hate more than paying stupid fucking service fees for online tickets, and MHoWB has whack box office hours (only Saturdays), so I’ve held off to buy until I can actually do an in-person transaction. I love Alice Glass so much, you guys. I mean, I love Zola Jesus, too, but I feel like I have a history with AG // the first time I saw her I was out of my gourd in the front row for Crystal Castles’ very short-lived Creamfields set in Argentina in 2008, and I actually got to talk to her after a show in Chicago a year later, and she was so lovely! Of course, now that Ethan’s been exposed as complete scum, I want to be sure and support homegirl in all of the ways, and so I’m DEFINITELY going to be at this show. (Once I buy the non-fee tickets, that is.)

My laundry guy to come back from wherever he is (which I hope is not the Great Beyond) – PRICE NEGOTIABLE

For the last five years or so I’ve been using the same laundromat on Flushing Avenue in Brooklyn for drop-off service, partially because it’s near my house, but also because the guy who worked there was so incredible and great and amazing. Sometimes I would go and he’d be taking a nap in a lawn chair behind the counter, and I’d feel really bad waking him up since he was probably dreaming about something good and non-laundry-related. He always folded everything so nicely, and sometimes he even mended some of my stuff! I didn’t even mind that he tied the laundry bag so tight that it was like trying to undo a goddamn Gordian Knot! Anyway, a few weeks ago he just kind of disappeared, and new people have taken over the business, and they put a Tokyo Drift cabinet in (which is cool), but they lost my Princess Diana T-shirt and I just feel like I have so many trust issues now. Laundry guy, if you’re reading this, COME BACK TO ME!

A new Princess Diana T-shirt since (as I mentioned) mine is lost now – $16.99

I only got to wear this gem ONCE before the new laundry people ruined my life, and I want a second chance at happiness. I just don’t want to have to buy it twice. So you could get on my good side by buying it for me. Thanks in advance!

For McDonald’s to bring its vegan burger to the US already – ?

I’m not vegan, I just veg a lot. And I would be so glad if McDonald’s would hurry up and bring its vegan burger (currently only available in select European countries) to the flippin’ US! We need the most help of anyone, come on! If you can make breakfast all day long AND bring back Rick & Morty sauce, can’t you do this ONE EXTRA THING?!

 

That’s all. For this week.

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