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Maybe it was the copious amounts of prosecco consumed or the four-plus hour Academy Awards telecast just wore me down (or inspired me), but now that I have some money in my bank account I want all the things.

Glossier Lidstar Eyeshadows – $18 each 

I’m a total aesthetics whore for this brand. Everything they put out, from makeup to skincare, has gorgeous packaging. When Glossier teased a new product during the Grammy Awards, I was intrigued. When it was on Queen Bey, I was SOLD. They didn’t announce exactly what the new product was until this past Sunday night when every cool girl at the Academy Awards was rocking their gorgeous new, glowy eyeshadows. All the ladies looked so subtle and gorgeous mixing and matching the six different shades. If they look good on Greta AND Janney AND Tiffany Haddish maybe, oh maybe they’ll look good on me too.

Thomas Keller’s Fried Chicken Kit – $15

According to Academy Award winning actress Frances McDormand this was the prize of the night at the Vanity Fair after party, where she rightfully jacked an entire bucket for herself. While a meal at chef Thomas Keller’s Ad Hoc restaurant will run you $55 and (since the menu changes daily) doesn’t guarantee you’ll get your chicken fried, this package of seasonings and instructions to make it at home might be as close as you get.

A Timothée Chalamet Shirt – Price Available Upon Request

When I saw James Ivory win the best adapted screenplay award for Call Me by Your Name my first thought was “yay!!!” and my second thought was “is he wearing Elio on his shirt??” and thankfully the answer to was yes. Custom designed by the artist Andrew Mania the shirt was indeed a beautiful painted portrait of Chalamet on a tuxedo shirt. The artist won’t disclose his pricing but you can request a design of your own by sliding into his Instagram DMs. My guess is that after this past Sunday night, Mania’s quote has gone way up.

Lupita Nyong’o’s Glasses – $289.00

I feel like I can’t write one of these wish lists without mentioning my style and life idol Lupita. She did it again on Oscar Night sporting some gorgeous cat-eye style glasses. As a lady who mostly wears contacts, I’m always searching for cool glasses I could see myself wearing beyond my bedroom. While I previously lusted after her purple Black Panther premiere dress, these glasses are only slightly more attainable. Made by handmade eyeglass designer Andy Wolf, this exact pair isn’t available anymore but a similar style “Soul” is still being sold. The price tag is hefty though and I don’t think my vision insurance would cover them so I might have to settle for Warbys.

A Hot Dog Canon – $1,499.00

While I don’t support lame Oscar gimmick sketches or random acts of processed meat violence, I do think it would be really fun to shoot one of these off in an open field. I don’t think, unless I looked like Gal Gadot or Armie Hammer, I could get away with operating this in a public place. As a gag gift this might be a tad too expensive, but maybe the kind folks at Nats Park want to let me operate one this summer for kicks?

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