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A cute little family with some cute little children just moved in next to my house. They threw up some adorable Halloween decorations last weekend… And since my neighborhood finally has a functioning sidewalk, this might be the first year I get real live trick ‘r treaters.

It’s time to make my house look PG Spooky.

Fun World Super Stretch Spider Web – $12.69

I don’t know if I really need to buy any fake spider webs because a huge nightmare of a spider has moved onto my front porch. I’m terrified of spiders so I have not attempted to move her (I named her Sybil). Instead, I like to think we’ve struck and deal. The front porch is hers now, the inside is mine. As long as she stays far away from the inside of my house, she’s welcome to eat as many mosquitos as she wants.

Amscan Beware Signs – $11.93

This is a fun and easy way to keep those meddling kids off your yard. That’s definitely what Halloween is about, right?

Prextex Tall Posable Halloween Skeleton – $50.95

I’m gonna dress this guy up like Jimmy Buffett. You know why.

Dark Puppet Theatre Halloween Animatronic – $9,150

This is it. We found it. The perfect casual lawn decoration for any Halloween fan.