It’s almost time for Halloween! Have you gotten a costume picked out? If not, you could always grab a few things from your closet and throw something silly and half-assed together. OR you could go online and spend upwards of $100 on something you’ll wear one time and then shove in the back of your closet/under your bed. The answer to me, my friends, is clear. Let’s dream about wasting some money on Halloween costumes!
Adult Caterpillar Costume, $99.99
Okay so for the price of a pretty nice dinner for two (with drinks), you can be the cumbersome hit of any Halloween party. Sure the costume sort of looks like a hellbeast sewn together with cast off limbs of three dead Sonics, but look at how happy the dude modeling the costume is! That could be you having fun with six arms and six legs!
Colonial Man Costume Deluxe – $310
Looking for something a bit more stately? Go full refinement as a generic Colonial Man and remind all your friends of the decadent, entitled, viciously white supremacist history of our dying nation! Please note that the quill pen, powdered wig, and buckle shoes are not included, which is honestly sort of bullshit.
Adult Authentic Batgirl Costume – $389.99
Ladies, there’s room for you too in the too expensive costume game. While it’s been a while since Batgirl was prominently featured in a piece of media outside of comic books, this specific costume design sort of gives off the vibes of the Batgirl of Joel Schumacher’s terrible Batman and Robin, as played by Alicia Silverstone. You know, from Clueless! Maybe just go as Cher from Clueless, that movie rules.
Yogi The Bear Mascot Costume – $593.99
Got a family party coming up? What better way to seem like you have good intentions but actually terrorize all children five and under than to dress up in an uncanny, ill-fitting Yogi Bear costume! The likelihood that any children will recognize Yogi Bear is pretty low, so maybe send some DVDs along to their parents in advance? What’s a few more bucks if you’re already shelling out almost $600 for a Swing Revival Bear suit?
Men’s Supreme Edition Iron Man Costume – $799.99
You know what’s not surprising is that the most expensive Halloween costumes out there are all Nerd Shit. Look at this thing. It’s ridiculous. What if you have to go to the bathroom? I hate it.