Ahhh, Tax Tuesday draws ever closer! Resist the siren song of productivity this weekend, and procrastinate instead with so much good online content! Here’s what we think you should hit first…

On BYT

We told you what to do in DC, [gay] DC, Chicago and NYC this weekend.

We took a behind the scenes look at DC’s Signature Theatre’s John set.

Jacqueline Novak earned our FUNNY HUMAN OF THE WEEK award for all of these reasons.

We talked to Travis Pietsch about the illustrative design scene in DC.

We’ve got your first look at Declaration Nats Park, plus your first look at Morini Piccolo. (We also ate all of the food.)

Supra’s Jonathan Nelms gave us his expert Drink Diary. Go forth and booze like a pro.

Speaking of sauce, here are April’s best beer events.

And we met Momofuku’s new Executive Chef Tae Strain, so now YOU can feel like YOU met Momofuku’s new Executive Chef Tae Strain.

If ink is more your jam, read our profile of DC’s Jinx Proof. So many tattoos.

We also interviewed Simon Birch, creator of the iconic Barmecide Feast. Read it, it’s pretty incred.

Carne Y Arena is an art project and a revolutionary storytelling experience, but more than anything, it is an exercise in empathy.” Svetlana tells us the full scoop on Alejandro Inarritu’s immersive project.

Not into words? Just look at our photos of cosplayers ‘n kites.

Not on BYT

 

I am currently reading Jonas Mekas’ I Had Nowhere To Go. Jonas Mekas is my hero and I took a blurry picture with him two years ago. He seemed unimpressed but I still think he’s great. This is a v. good book.

I read my Susan Miller horoscope for April, and she totally nailed that I would have both tooth and knee injuries, so maybe she’ll also be right in predicting I’ll find L-O-V-E tomorrow! (L-O-L!)

People are confused by Walmart’s “funeral potatoes”. I am not confused by them. I wish there were some in my pantry, because this is the most in-my-wheelhouse product ever to be created by a superstore.

VICE asked people with mullets why they have mullets, and I feel no closer to enlightenment, but I did enjoy reading their responses.

Zombie raccoons are terrorizing an Ohio town. Even though by “zombie” it’s probably meant “distemper”, this gives me great pleasure as a former resident of Ohio for four years in college. Only bad things for Ohio, please.

Here’s a profile of the very first Craigslist killer, aka “Lady Bluebeard”, a six foot tall Norwegian widow who was active in murdering men at the turn of the 20th century!

Racists are taking over paganism. And it’s the fucking worst.

I read a lot of VICE stuff this week, you guys. I’m not sorry. This one especially did not disappoint: “Surfer: Teen Confronts Fear is a surreal meditation on faith and surfing, with the writer/director/producer also starring as a ghost made of squid ink.”

watched a Buzzfeed video about a bear who served as a soldier in the Polish army during WWII, and now I can’t stop learning about him because he was TOO GOOD.

And reading this story about how Japanese monkeys use hot springs to reduce stress was a source of reduced stress for me.

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