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For the past year, The Wonderland Ballroom has spent one Wednesday a month as a church. A place known for gathering lost souls together over drink and dance is dabbling in gathering lost souls together over drink, dance, praise and tots. Some Souls Church regular Church Night show has outgrown its normal parish for a slightly bigger stage, Black Cat.

The Revered Dr. Stevedore Maybelline Bidet Esq. and youth minister Kathy Piechota are bringing their faith and talented friends this Saturday to the main stage. According to their press release/church bulletin, the show/service will feature Santa explaining twerking, the story of the true first Christmas, the holy gift of shots and tots, sing-a-long hymns and more.

We spoke with Ms. Piechota about her role in the church and how all are welcome at Some Souls Church.

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Kathy, you’re a youth minister. What made you want to work with younger people?

Oh my, good question. Well, I like to consider myself a hip and stylish person. I stay up with the latest trends by reading the fashion magazines that the Goodwill sends to our church and by watching the nightly news. I think these things give me a fresh perspective to share with the youth of our church. Kids these days aren’t going to pay attention to some boring old bitty, but they WILL pay attention to someone who they want to smoke grass with or maybe make out with.

Have you ever “smoked grass” with your followers?

Yep! Nearly all of them except for the prudes.

What’s the goal of Church Night? Convert new parishioners? Please your current flock? Flex your performance muscle?

Church Night is a place for folks who literally have no place else to go. We see it as a place for weirdos, oddballs, gays, users, drunks, sexual deviants, rebels, and minorities to come and have a great time while worshiping the Lord. It’s about all of us coming together at the same time.

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Do the tater tots help with the coming together?

Both the tater tots and shot of whiskey are blessed in holy communion by the Reverend Dr. Stevedore Maybelline Bidet Esq are pretty much the only reason folks come to our service. Well, that and our amazing guest artist ministers.

How did you and Reverend Dr. Stevedore Maybelline Bidet Esq meet?

Well, as most folks know, I did a bit of prostitutin’ on the side back in the day. One evening, I was on the corner of 11th and Kenyon St. NW and this reverend stops his van right in front of me. I asked him if he wanted to have a good time tonight and he said yes. So, I climbed into the passenger seat and away we went. I remember his car smelled like junior bacon cheeseburgers and I heard the most beautiful music on the tape player. I found out later it was Steven Curtis Chapman. Anywhoo, he touched my thigh and I thought “Ok, here we go!” But he stopped there.

“What’s your name?” He asked.

“Peaches,” I said.

“No child, what’s your God given name?”

“Kathy, Kathy Piechota,” I replied.

And then he said the words that changed my life.

“Kathy, I’ve got a proposition for you and not the kind you’re used to… I want you to stop prostituting yourself to men for money and start prostituting yourself to God for money.”

And that was it. That was the day Bidet saved my life. I have never looked back and have been making way more cash in the church than I ever did on the streets!

Church Night comes to the Black Cat on Saturday, December 21. The special service will feature music by Jonny Grave and The North Country, burlesque by Pria Puss, and children’s comedy by Sara Armour. From the church’s bullettin: “Come one, come all, come together at the same time!”

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