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Cherry Glazerr is in the middle of the tour for their brand new album Apocalipstick, an album that’s become even more darkly hilarious since we’ve started inching closer to armageddon. It’s every bit as hypnotic and addicting as their earlier single, “Had Ten Dollaz” but with far more bite and ferocity. If you’re not listening to it right now, you’re making a bad decision and you should try to do better.

Despite the waking nightmare that is human life, 19 year-old front woman Clem Creevy was cheery when I called her up on the phone. We talked in depth about ghosts, getting high, scary movies, and podcasts. We didn’t talk about the music. I’ll let the music speak for itself.

Cherry Glazerr plays Subterranean in Chicago on 1/28. The show is already sold out.

I’m looking at a Burger King sign and it says Ted Nugget and it made me think of Ted Nugent.

That’s beautiful. What a good pun.

Thank you.

I’m very excited I got the 4:20 interview time slot, especially on Friday the 13th.

I was excited when I saw that!

Someone had a good idea… So I was wondering, what’s the best time you got high?

Oh man. What a great question… There was one time when I first started smoking weed and I lived in Chicago and it was really snowy. I smoked a bowl with my friends, and we were smoking the bowl and we started running to one of their houses… and it was back in the day when I hadn’t smoked weed that many times and the whole world started beating like a pulse and it was one of the coolest stoned experiences. It’s like… you just keep trying to chase that. That initial outer body experience. And then it never happens. I sound like a drug addict. [Old man voice] keep trying to chase the good old times!

That’s okay. I think we’re all doing that to some degree. Nostalgia is a potent drug… Speaking of drugs, what is your drink of choice?

I’ve been drinking a lot of gin and tonics. I love a gin and tonic.

A girl after my own heart. What kind of gin do you like?

I love Beefeater. Bombay is fine.

I don’t know anyone that likes Beefeater. What do you like about it?

It’s great. It’s got punch. It’s got bite. I like a strong drink.

You don’t think it tastes like a Christmas tree?

No! I’ve never thought that before. To be honest, I don’t really know what the difference is between all of them. I can’t even tell a good one from a bad one. I really just… Someone told me it was good and I was like “okay.”

So it is Friday the 13th. Can you tell me a scary story?

YES. Okay. One night… On a dark and cold night… I had an aunt. With a house. And my aunt lived in this big old house in the suburbs of Chicago, covered with vines and a big long porch and a lot of creaky stairs. And sometimes, right before she went to bed she would hear something in the basement. GAH GAH GAH GAH. And she would get up. She would go and start walking downstairs and it stopped. Then the next night she heard it again. GAH GAH GAH GAH. It was like a smacking sound. And she got up. She walked downstairs… but nothing! And then on the third night, she heard it again. GAH GAH GAH. And she walked downstairs into the basement and, right before her eyes, she saw a basket ball bouncing by itself in the middle of the room.

That’s a true story!

What did she do?

She freaked the fuck out!

…And it never bothered her again? She threw the basketball out? What happened?

[Laughs] I think it’s just a haunted house.

She didn’t consult a priest or something?

I don’t know. I didn’t ask any questions. I sort of let her have that one.

I mean, I don’t believe in ghosts, but it would be cool as shit if magic existed and that was something that could happen.

Yeah, me too. It’s this thing I’m so hopeful for because of all the fantasy intake that I took in as a child, and so it’s this thing that I’ll always hold in my heart as a possibility because it’s fun to have little believies. It’s fun to have little believies in your heart, but yeah. If we’re gonna be real, we’re gonna have real talk. I don’t believe in ghosts either. Or magic.

I still can’t believe your aunt didn’t do anything. If I thought my house was haunted I would do something.

I mean, what’s there to do?

I mean, there’s sage right? You can just burn plants and that’s supposed to help.

These are a bunch of old Irish Catholics. And they’re not really down with the hippie bullshit. I love the hippie bullshit. I would sage the shit out of that place, but, you know. It’s not my call.

Did you ever have a weird experience in her house?

No. I’ve never had any ghostly experiences, but I do talk to people who tangentially know people who have had that experience. One of my friends had first hand experiences with ghosts and I believe her and I trust her opinion and her thoughts and her ideas, more than anyone. So I’m kind of like, oh my god. If you’re saying this… Then it must be true. But I don’t know! It’s just fun. It’s not fun for her, but it’s fun for me.

Would you want to see a ghost?

No. I’m kind of scared of them.

Vaguely related, I know you guys did a song that was feature in one of the Insidious movies… do you like horror movies?

Yeah! I love horror movies. Especially 80s horror. And Wes Craven, John Carpenter-esque horror and kind of goofy horror.

Do you have a favorite horror movie?

Oh man… Maybe Christine?

Oh. That’s a goodie. Did you ever see the remake?

No. I didn’t want to see it.

It wasn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it wasn’t great.

That is not a good review! That doesn’t make me want to see it.

Well, I think it’s kind of different with horror movies, because even if they’re bad I still enjoy them because they bring joy into my heart.

That’s true! That’s so totally true. As long as they have the freak elements and some kind of climactic scene… It’s easy to scare! That’s why cheap thrills are a thing.

I just saw the Bye Bye Man and it’s a really bad movie, but it did bring joy into my heart… What was the last movie you saw?

I started watching Terminator 2 last night on my laptop. The Terminator’s are hilarious. It’s kind of what you’re talking about right now. I sort of carry that over to action… like silly action macho movies. I find them fun sometimes because of the spectacle. I’ll just talk about them all the way thru. It’s more fun to have commentary on the silliness of them then to watch them seriously.

What is the dumbest thing you genuinely like?

Okay. If we’re going to be honest… This is not even cool. This isn’t even funny. I don’t even really want to be telling you this, but we can have real talk right now.

Only do what makes you comfortable.

I totally watched True Detective. All the way through. Dude. I watched the second season. All the way through.

Did you like it?

No! I didn’t like it, but I stuck through with it for some reason.

Oh…

I know. That’s what everyone says. It’s like ouch. It’s really bad.

If there was a third season. Would you watch it?

No. I don’t know why the fuck I stuck through with it. There was no reason.

What made you do it?

I like to finish things. There was no redeeming aspect.

I think I read somewhere (and this is the creepy thing about interviews, I have to know so much about you before we’ve even been introduced) that you’re really into podcasts?

Oh man there are so many good ones. I listen to Marc Maron’s podcast, sometimes I listen to Hardcore History, and How Stuff Works, This American Life… I listen to music podcasts. I’ll listen to comedy too. A lot of comedy, but Marc Maron is my go to. Oh! I was listening to this great podcast called My Dad Wrote A Porno.

Oh! I just started that!

Dude! It’s so good. Have you listened to the whole thing?

No. I think I’m on episode five or something like that.

Oh my god. It’s so funny. My dad’s a writer and my mom’s a writer too and it’s weird to read your parents writing. I do love it and I’ll share it with my friends, but it’s totally weird.

Yeah, I don’t want my parents to read anything I’ve ever written.

I know sometimes I think, are they going to think I need help?

What song of yours would you recommend to someone who has never listened to Cherry Glazerr?

I wouldn’t.

Fair.

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