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claire is the world’s most carnivorous “vegetarian”
kalee fries veggie burgers in duck fat
we employ an arbitrary 4-star buger-rating system




The inaugural burger club meeting had a shaky start, literally, when Claire suddenly passed out?

But then she woke up to discover the burgers and fries had arrived and everything was better. Over said burgers, Kalee and Claire realized that not only do they both love burgers, but also that they have both passed out at the optometrist like total idiots, so this friendship clearly is meant to be.

Also, this is apparently being written in third person, as if by some sidekick who probably has an Australian accent, which is kind of funny, so maybe it will remain that way.



Back to first-person: This could have been McDonalds and I wouldn’t have known the difference. I was pretty dazed — but let’s be honest: It was probably just because I needed a burger so bad.

Ultimately, the food was … okay. But the dudes get extra points for being super nice and coming to the rescue with free Pepsi and repeatedly checking on my blood pressure!

On a 4-star scale: ***



I had the No Burger, No Cry once when I was drunk, and I was convinced it was the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life. In the harsh light of sobrierity, I wasn’t as impressed. I do like that they have a variety of mayos, though. Chipotle, Old Bay, wasabi, and plain…really a treat for my french fries.

Verdict: ***

This piece originally ran on the Burgers R Us Tumblr. Republished with permission.