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It’s my Day 11 of self-quarantine, and I’m tired of just sitting on my goddamn couch. But also, I fucking hate working out, you guys. I don’t want to watch somebody tell me how to do squats on YouTube. And I also don’t want to waste my time doing exercises incorrectly on my own. So you know what I’m doing instead while stuck indoors for the foreseeable future? A Boiler Room session a day. Because what I fucking DO NOT hate is dancing badly, especially when it’s in the privacy of my own home.

The concept is simple – choose a new session (generally around an hour long) to put on every morning (or whenever I want), and proceed to dance my goddamn face off. (They’re doing a social isolation streaming series now, too, which has featured The Black Madonna, Mall Grab, Sippin’ T and HAAi so far AND has encouraged donating to some p. dope causes // HELL YEAH.)

You may be going, “But Megan, don’t you have to be off your flippin’ gourd to enjoy dance music?” And the answer is, “No! No you do not!” DJ sets can be enjoyed without the assistance of illicit substances, as evidenced by the many times I have gone by myself to gigs when my favorite producers have been in town. And you don’t even need to feel self conscious since, as I mentioned earlier, you’re all by yourself!

Room to move! Room to let your dumb body do whatever it wants! 

This is my third day doing this, and each hour-long session has (according to my phone) equated to me propelling myself two miles. I can tell it is working because muscles I didn’t know I had are sore. (I have also burned around 100 calories each time, but that’s more of a side-effect than a goal.) 

You guys, what if I come out of this thing totally ripped? And it’s all thanks to like, Peggy Gou and Or:la and Ellen Allien? What if I dance myself hench?!

Anyway, if you are like me and don’t want to listen to personal trainers or yoga instructors or whatever the fuck, and just want to cut a goddamn rug every day, then I IMPLORE YOU TO SEEK OUT THE TREASURE TROVE THAT IS BOILER ROOM’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL. 

Stay safe, sane, healthy ‘n rhythmic, y’all! xx

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