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NAME REDACTED and NAME REDACTED sitting in the tree
First comes love
Then comes marriage
Then comes baby in the baby carriage

Here’s a roundup of some of the best places the subjects of that classic song can practice the second line.

All Souls

Yeah, you’re in the open, and yea you’re pretty much blowing up your own spot, but the bartenders there have seen so many first dates and late night make out sessions that you’re guaranteed no hard judgement from the staff. A little more voyeur than the other ones, but that only adds to it. -Ruben Gzirian

The Anthem

There are lots of dark corners and empty spaces even at sold-out shows. Not speaking from personal experience but just a thought… -Marissa Rubenstein

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Capitol Building

The mental association with the buffoons that fill its chambers could potentially create a real boner-killer, however, we happen to know of a few Washingtonians that claim to have gotten to second base while wandering off during a Capitol tour. Attempt at your own risk, but in the rankings of cool places to say you’ve made out in Washington, the Capitol has got to be #2 after the White House. -Jacob Palalay

Capitol Stones, Rock Creek Park

All of Rock Creek Park is gorgeous and it will make anyone’s short list of DMV romantic hikes, but there is an urban legend that we are happy to confirm exists—the Capitol Stones. In 1958 the Capitol Building was renovated. In the process, hundreds of pieces of limestone and marble were discarded in Rock Creek Park. Today, the hidden mounds of moss-covered stones are a neoclassical wet dream, the perfect backdrop for cozy alone time with your architect or D.C. history buff. -Jacob Palalay


Copycat Co.

The right layout of the bar isn’t totally conducive to making a move but the drinks are some of the best in the city and the music is always on point. Try and get a seat away from the bar but not near the main window you’re willing to risk it all. -Ruben Gzirian

DC War Memorial

On the National Mall, in the little copse of sugar maples and pines, just South of Kennedy Hockey Fields, is a little white monument. Well, it’s not little; it is a monument, after all. It’s a marble dome, supported by matching columns. Effectively, it’s a Doric temple, in the trees, on the National Mall. It’s also the only structure on the Mall that pays tribute those we lost in the Great War, specifically those who were DC citizens. Around the foundation column of the temple are engraved the names of every citizen of the District of Columbia who fought and died in World War I. Because the monuments and memorials are open 24 hours, it’s the perfect make-out spot after a midnight bike ride on the Mall. -Jonny Grave

Declaration of Independence Memorial—Signers’ Island

If you’re up for a stroll down the Mall, there are few private corners you can sneak off to. Start with the Declaration of Independence Memorial, which has a foot bridge to an island—“Signers’ Island.” A literal island in the middle of the Mall. It’s worth walking through the tourists to get there and tends to be on the private side. -Jacob Palalay

Dumbarton Oaks

We know, we know, you “never got to Georgetown” … but outside of the M St. pedestrian nightmare, we forget Georgetown really is breathtaking and Dumbarton Oaks is proof. The historic estate makes for an excellent weekend Insta story with enough leftover pictures to #TBT for weeks. But the real treasure at Dumbarton Oaks is the gardens. Get lost under vine-covered archways and windy paths that create miles of scenic walks around the property. You can literally make out in the bamboo-shaded outdoor amphitheater where former resident and Vice President John C. Calhoun once enjoyed live music circa early 19th Century. (Unfortunately, the garden is currently undergoing renovation, but is scheduled to re-open to the public March 15, 2018). -Jacob Palalay


The Gibson

The upstairs room at The Gibson called Denver. It’s the bigger of two rooms and is impossible to see into from the hallway. It’s also haunted so there’s that. -Ruben Gzirian


Gravelly Point

If you want to make out with someone and be romantic about it, take them to Gravelly Point in VA, where the planes fly real low. I don’t know what’s romantic about looking at planes but if you sit far away from the families, something about those loud ass sky buses really do the trick. Don’t wear a skirt though, cause there are a bunch of red ants on the ground in the summer. -Tam Sackman

H Street Country Club’s Mini Golf Course

Their brunch is affordable, good and the atmosphere fun. Upstairs, they double down on the fun with mini golf. Drinking and mini golf—yes, please! You can have all the perks of a date in the suburbs without actually leaving D.C. And bonus, the mini golf area is usually fairly quiet, allowing you some alone time with your date. -Jacob Palalay

Kennedy Center’s Roof Terrace

The Washington Monument is the tallest structure in town, and the view from the top is painfully unimpressive. If you’ve never been to the top before, and would like to know what this view is like, just take a map of DC, lay it on a table, sit down at that table, looking across the map. The view looks just like that. Not terribly inspiring. A few miles North and West of the Mall, the National Cathedral is the highest point by elevation in DC proper. But, while the views are breathtaking, the central bell tower is almost never open to the public. By elevation, the best spot for making out is the roof terrace of the Kennedy Center, looking South and West, over the Potomac. -Jonny Grave

Library of Congress Tunnel

If you’re on a date playing tourists in the Jefferson Building, or you’re researching steamy 18th Century literature in the Madison building, or you’re just generally aroused by books, the tunnel under Independence Avenue has a thousand corridors, most of which are open to the public, and perfect for making out with librarians. Assuming it’s consensual, and the librarian isn’t working. -Jonny Grave


Lincoln Memorial

To start, any recommendation to visit the Monuments should specify that they shine brightest at night. This is most evident at the Lincoln, which after nightfall, conjures a romanticized D.C. nostalgia that even the most jaded of Washingtonians can’t deny. Venture around back, looking out over the Arlington Memorial Bridge and National Cemetery. You won’t be able to resist the urge to pull your partner in close. -Jacob Palalay

Little Island

When you look out at Teddy Roosevelt Island, you’re actually looking at two distinctly separate land masses. Roosevelt Island makes up the bulk of what you see from the parking lot, or the banks of the Potomac behind the Lincoln Memorial. Little Island is the body of land on the Southern edge, separated by the Roosevelt bridge, and the marsh underneath. There’s a sandy path between the river and marsh, going under the bridge, visible usually during low tide. Roosevelt Island has a thousand paths, walkways, and clearly defined points of interest. Little Island is covered in trees, and is largely untamed, making it a perfect destination for an afternoon date in the spring or summer. -Jonny Grave

Little Miss Whiskeys

A self-proclaimed “lousy bar for rotten people,” I can think of no better place to publicly make out, than the semi private back corner in Little Miss Whiskey’s, called The Christmas Lounge. If you’ve never wanted to make out on a shiny leather couch next to a faux-Christmas Tree, lit year-round, you’re just not aiming high enough. -Mary Godier


Looking Glass Lounge

Dark with a lot of hidden spots on the first floor, Looking Glass lays it on heavy with great beer, great music, and staff who really don’t care what the previous two lead to. If you really want to make it happen, go to Timber Pizza first, then come here and roll the dice. -Ruben Gzirian

Meridian Hill

Meridian Hill (aka Malcolm X) Park is perfect for almost anything that can be done outdoors but doesn’t need a regulation field. Picnics, frisbee, bocce, that famous drum circle … It’s a park for all reasons. And you definitely wouldn’t be the first to sneak away into its lower-level hedges for some discreet smooching before returning to your picnic blanket, or just continuing on your walk. Bonus points for doing it during a summer rain, which actually applies to a few places on this list. Fair warning: BYT cannot guarantee you won’t stumble into some fellow hedge-walkers who had the same idea. -Tristan Lejeune


Mural at Kalorama & Champlain NW—”Every Day I See Something New”

One of Washington’s best characteristics is that around any corner, you could stumble upon a mural. Everyone has their favorite, but we have a soft spot for one particular mural that can be found at Kalorama NW & Champlain NW, called “Every Day I See Something New” by artist Cita Sadeli CHELOVE. With a cozy park bench dropped in front, it’s the perfect place to sneak off to after a night of drinking on 18th St./Adams Morgan. -Jacob Palalay

National Cathedral Garden & Grounds

While we wouldn’t recommend making out inside the National Cathedral, the gardens, however, are free game. Just outside the majestic cathedral are winding paths through quiet gardens that make for a peaceful escape. -Jacob Palalay

National Gallery East Building

Pretty much any rooftop with a decent view in D.C. is good for some tonsil-hockey, but the East Building of the National Gallery — which became even more of a must-see after its 2016 renovations — offers what feels like a fresh-air intermission after climbing through three floors of 20th century and contemporary art. Also: You can make as many “giant cock” jokes as you like. -Tristan Lejeune



If you go to Nellie’s three weekend nights in any given period of time, you will make out on the dance floor two out of those three times. This ratio is science. It is fact. It is law. One night won’t be your night, and you will watch all of your friends make out (maybe with each other, maybe with strangers) and you will get pushed out of the way at the bar. Do not accept this as defeat, because upon your return, it will be your night, and someone will suggest tequila shots, and you will dance close to someone until your mouths are touching. Is this a queer crowd? Sure. Are your odds of making out with the same sex better than that of the opposite? Sure. But its 2018. Become a more informed citizen of the world and make out at Nellie’s. -Tam Sackman


Netherlands Carillon

This might be better in better weather, but there’s never too many people there and you have an awesome view of D.C. -Marissa Rubenstein


The first booth to the left when you enter, specifically in the corner of the booth closest to the door. Sure the bar smells like a dive bar should and it gets really hot when more than 20 people are in there, but you can’t beat a whiskey shot and Genesee Cream Ale combo to make you forget you’re in a rigid wooden booth. -Ruben Gzirian

Sidewalk in front of the Dunn Loring-Merrifield Metro

There’s no one there after like 8pm, no one will bother you. just keep your clothes on and I feel like it’s fine? It’s a nice way to kill the 10 minutes it takes to get a Lyft in Virginia at 11:45pm on a weekend. This counts because it is metro accessible. -Marissa Rubenstein

Velvet Lounge

It smells like a toilet and I’m pretty sure that’s a single sad boy aphrodisiac. Like a metaphor for their entire existence. I’ve literally walked up to a man and sad you look sad and poor and he made out with me there. It was cool. -Allison Lane


Whole Foods on P St. NW Butcher Counter

Slide your hand cart over to the left side of Whole Foods’ butcher counter for some serious (pork) neckin’ with your boo. According to their meat-enthused marketing department, uncooked and naturally cased sausage “Pairs with a Valentine.” Nibble on your partner’s ear and whisper these timeless turn-ons:

  • Hot Italian Pork Sausage
  • Boston Butt
  • Mild Italian Pork Sausage
  • Dry Rubbed
  • $6.9(9)
  • Habanero Green Chili Pork Sausage

Fair warning: frenching in front of charcuterie is a serious step up from macking in self checkout like some attention obsessed hookup. Be sure to DTR (define the ragú) and you’ll be tongue deep with your hot link faster thank you can say “Hey Alexa, add an engagement ring to my shopping list.” -Brandon Weight