By Diana Metzger
I’m a lover of lists, especially lists of things I like. Like baby animals in human socks or the many goofy faces of Jennifer Lawrence or Taylor Swift. I like year-end lists of music or books so I can gauge how out-of-touch or zeigeisty I am. Basically I love any list of things I love; which is why when asked to create a year end list I knew exactly what I would choose: facial hair.
Now I can’t get down on cruel lists. This list will not include whether or not baby North West has waxed eyebrows. I also do not award ironic facial hair, lazy facial hair, or “I’m so hot I can not shave for a year and still look sexy” facial hair. I do not receive a year-end award for how many weeks I can go without shaving my legs (a lot), so I will not laud handsome celebrities who got bored with their beautiful face in between movies. I’m talking about the kind of male grooming that elevates it to art form. The kind of facial hair where a man’s personality is created around his lip/chin/cheek coif.
I also will include no men of “Duck Dynasty.” Ugly, hateful personal beliefs on their part aside, I think most of them look way better without the beards. Am I right?
I’m funny about facial hair. I’m not the biggest fan of scruff on my husband, but I think scuff is a delicate balance. Great facial hair takes grooming time and talent. Here’s to the men who brought the fuzz in 2013. Now if only I could get my husband to grow an artful mustache I’d be in heaven. That’s a worthy new year’s wish.
10) Prince Harry
The Prince needed to keep warm on his trip to Antarctica so he grew a face blanket. It perfectly matches his ginger hair color, which really is just a stroke of luck and good breeding. I’ll refrain from making a joke about carpet matching the drapes and window shade…but look I just said it!
9) Donald Sutherland
His face fleece is as white as “Catching Fire” President Snow. Like an evil, tyrannical Santa.
8) Mandy Patinkin
The only good thing about “Homeland” this season. It’s an ombre beard!
7) Cole Vosbury from “The Voice”
It’s as if he’s wearing a hood of hair around his entire face. The length and coloring is perfection. He looks so snuggly peeking out from his face bush.
6) Jeffrey Wright
Youngsters take note: this is how it’s done. So sexy. Perfect pairing of fuzz and eyewear.
5) Walter White
Credit due to Kelly Nelson, “Breaking Bad” hair stylist. I’m really going to miss Heisenberg’s chin party.
4) Nick Offerman
This man practically invented this list. He honestly could be number one every year. I mean, look at how he honored Movember:
THIS is impeccable grooming. He’s combined a beard, mustache, AND goatee. It really ties the face together. He even has a reverse fade on the beard. It’s like watching facial fireworks. That takes dedication and it’s paying off.
2) Ron Burgundy
I know he’s a fiction creation, but an expensive ad campaign was created just around his mustache. I saw it out my office window on a massive billboard in Los Angeles and truly made my day complete.
1) Jack Huston
I understand this is a controversial choice for this year’s winner. “American Hustle” is one of the biggest movies this year and the fact that any time Huston was on screen I couldn’t take my eyes off his lip caterpillar. It’s also such a part of making him fit into the time period of “Boardwalk Empire.” He’s made his facial hair a true résumé builder and somehow it looks contemporarily sexy.