2020 BELLES OF THE OVERLY DECORATED WINTERTIME BALL:
We had different opinions on Happiest Season and felt it was important to include both:
I feel like I’ve been through a roller coaster of emotions with this movie – excited, nervous, angry…the list goes on. So, after watching? Kind of super hated it. That’s not to say I don’t still love Clea DuVall, or that I didn’t appreciate Kristen Stewart’s suits (or just like, Kristen Stewart in general), or that Riley and Jane are not (IMO) god tier characters, but everything else ranged from just “meh” to 100% “NOPE” (looking at YOU, Mackenzie Davis), and I do not think this one will be a re-watch from me. Like, on the plus side nobody died (aside from those tropical fish), but still, the tired coming out of the closet narrative feels firmly rooted in early aughts vibes. Personally not here for it. (Bonus note: several of my queer friends have likened Happiest Season to Get Out, and I do not disagree.) – Megan
As the resident Christmas movie obsessed human (and a cis straight woman) I found Happiest Season to be flawed but overall enjoyable in the bad Christmas movie way. I love happy endings, I laughed out loud a few times, I love Dan Levy, I love Victor Garber (Alias forever!), I thought Kristen Stewart was very good in this movie (and loved her suits!). However, my favorite podcast Who Weekly described Mackenzie Davis’s character Harper as “irredeemable” and I definitely have to agree. I’ve also heard nothing but praise for Mary Holland’s Jane character but I found the side plot of “let’s laugh at the spectrum family member” to be pretty offensive. We can be better than this, Clea Duvall and Mary Holland are better than this. I think the real answer is more queer Christmas movies please! – Marissa
Holidate was one of the earliest of the Netflix Christmas Movies to come out this year and in that period of time when it was the only new Christmas adjacent (it’s not really a Christmas exclusionary movie, you get to go around the entire year, twice I think), I watched it four times. Four. A movie about a girl whose family is very annoying about how single she is (to be fair, my family is not this way at all, but my extended family is always wondering if I have met any nice boys), but then she finds a super cute Australian man to be her date for all holidays? It’s a millenial single girl fever dream.
Of course it is not perfect, the whole plot takes off after an awkward and extremely unrealistic encounter in the return line at a department store. Then again these movies are based under a loose understanding of reality which is why i love them so much so not sure why this upsets me.
But at least they end the movie having known each other a year plus, instead of most other Christmas movies where it’s like we’ve maybe known each other a week but HEY let’s get married!
My first good Christmas movie cry of the season! I recommend it. – Marissa
How many Vanessa Hudgens princesses could Vanessa Hudgens play if Vanessa Hudgens could play princesses? That’s not a riddle, that’s the plot of Princess Switch 2, and the answer (currently, until the third movie comes along) is three. Is that too many Vanessa Hudgens? Absolutely not.
Overall, I found this sequel to be far more exciting than the first, but don’t expect anyone to have learned any lessons from the first movie- so it’s kind of just the exact same mistakes as before, just with more versions of Vanessa Hudgens. I laughed, I (of course) cried.
Did it need to be set during Christmas time? Absolutely not, and in general the movie could have benefitted from a little more holiday spirit. But it’s an overall fun watch, if only to listen to the variety of accents Vanessa Hudgens tries to do over the course of the movie. – Marissa
Dash and Lily (Netflix)
As a former bookish, curmudgeon-y teenager myself that was also hopelessly into rom-coms, I was attracted to the idea of bookish curmudgeon-y teenagers finding love at Christmas, and so, cue: Dash & Lily. And you know, the show IS pretty cute and the male lead looks like my first ever bookish, curmudgeon-y boyfriend AND taps into that NY nostalgia element that a lot of great rom-coms have (everyone can appreciate the STRAND sightings and holiday markets and…), but frankly – it feels a little stretched out, even by holiday standards. It could have been a movie. It should have been a movie. – Svetlana
I didn’t realize this was a musical, in retrospect that was an incredibly silly thing not to realize. As soon as I started it and realized there wasn’t going to be much dialogue I was a bit uncertain.I love musicals, generally, but there was something just slightly irritating about the first musical number that made me not love it right off that bat.
It really fits into three categories of classic Christmas movie – angelic interference, strong magic of Christmas vibes, and a single person who works too hard. Is three too many to have in one movie? Would it be a Dolly Parton Christmas Movie if it wasn’t trying to do ALL THE THINGS? Despite its grating musical beginnings, the magic of Dolly Parton, I mean Christmas, wins out in the end and it is all heartwarming and warm fuzzies. I absolutely teared up at the end. – Marissa
“The only thing you ever cared about was your stupid holiday” – Belsnickel the evil elf to Santa (Kurt Russel) and strangely also how my friends and family feel about my addiction to these movies.
I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed Christmas Chronicles 2, especially since I found the first one very meh. In an interesting side plot, they go into the history of Santa and even travel to Turkey (Saint Nicholas is from a town in present day Turkey), at one point, where Santa does some cool martial arts before being shot in the butt – I cannot make this up (“Santa don’t you feel anything?” “Nah riding around in the sleigh is like a shot of novacaine.” – actual dialogue).
Christmas Chronicles is an enjoyable, magical holiday journey that is surprisingly just fun to watch. However, it is important to note that Who Let The Dogs Out by Baha Men (which btw came out 20 years ago) is played once for ~reasons~ and it was so jarring I vaguely thought about muting it but was too lazy to reach for the remote. -Marissa
“It doesn’t make any sense at all! Just go with it!” – The 12 Dates of Christmas Narrator.
Have you ever been sitting there watching Love is Blind or Love Island or The Bachelorette and thought “THIS NEEDS MORE CHRISTMAS AND NEEDS TO HAPPEN IN A CASTLE IN AUSTRIA”. Then you might want to tell the FBI agent in your head to stop pitching shows to HBO. Not to be confused with the Christmas movie that is also in our guide with the exact. same. name, this version of 12 Dates of Christmas is 6 episodes of ridiculous relationship fun where the three leads date multiple people over Christmas to see who they’ll bring home for the holidays, and they have to decide if they are in or out by midnight on NYE.
The narrator is probably my favorite since Love is Blind UK (remember when Love is Blind US tried to do the funny narrator schtick and it ended up sounding like a sponsor commenting on a sponsored post trying to make a joke?). – Marissa
Possibly the best worst movie I watched last year… Ghosted: The Christmas Soirit a movie about a woman who thinks she’s been ghosted only to discover her date died and actually is a ghost now! A must watch on Hulu – Esther Boykin LMFT and Host of BYT’s weekly Therapy Thursday on BYT’s IG Live.
NEW TO US THIS YEAR (BUT DEFINITELY NOT NEW NEW)
The first Christmas movie I have EVER turned off. I found this way too sweet like, bathing in maple syrup while drinking molassess sticky and cloyingly sweet. The dialogue was painful even for me who I feel, have a pretty high tolerance for really bad dialogue (that’s part of the magic!).
The lead man was so cute (and possibly a criminal! A bad boi!) that I found myself turning it back on and finishing it after a few days, and declare it not. terrible.
The plot was refreshingly different – small town detective is forced by the FBI to date a (very beautiful) man suspected of stealing a diamond reindeer – I said different not believable! Also the police chief is the detectives mom? Why? What? Like all of these, the “why is Not Important! – Marissa
I had seen this movie already, I mean I hadn’t but it is a similar plot to so many other Christmas movies – hometown boy becomes a country star! Somehow has to return home to his small town roots and ends up back with his prom date/ the girl he ignored in high school/ something along those lines!
Why are they always country music stars? I guess country music implies homey/ small town/ family values (clearly none of these writers have watched Nashville).
I feel I have to rate this movie based on how much I enjoyed myself while watching it considering I have seen so many variations of this exact movie before. It was not a bad viewing experience, but I instantly forgot I had seen it, so much so that when I went back to my notes app where I keep notes for this article on all the Christmas movies I watch I thought I had accidentally found last years. Nope! It was a different movie!
Essentially I found this movie vaguely enjoyable, loved the random silly moments, and it featured a very attractive man so.. makes for some good holiday background TV. – Marissa
I cannot believe how much I enjoyed this Norwegian Christmas show. (Read: an embarrassing amount.) It’s cozy, it’s relatable, it’s mildly (read: at least for one episode) queer, and oh my god if there’s not a second season I will torch something, because cliffhanger dot com. (If you watch, just make sure to switch on the subtitles with the original Norwegian audio, because Netflix always tries to do that thing where they dub in English first, which seriously makes me want to Van Gogh my ears.) – Megan
PLUS, SOME EVERGREEN HOLIDAY GOOD BADNESS, SORTED INTO EASY-TO-USE CATEGORIES:
DO YOU LOVE CHRISTMAS…AND PRINCES???
The movie that launched a thousand Netflix Christmas movies! A Christmas Prince is a magical combination of all the best Christmas royal movie tropes, which include, but certainly aren’t limited to: set in an obscure European country, some sort of horseback riding scene, the Prince is a jerk at first, someone has trouble with Royal protocol, a helpful and sweet butler, an evil relative, I could go on but I have to get to the rest of these royally terrible but wonderful movies. Also, I cried at the end. -Marissa
Okay so this is kind of a rarity in that the royal Christmas movie actually gets a sequel. It’s kind of the same movie as the first one, just replace all the plot points I listed above with “has trouble with royal protocol” and throw in a very strange side plot about a Christmas play? Also, I cried at the end. -Marissa
Aha! The King can’t build a crib! After what I personally felt was an extremely dull Royal Wedding, I had low low expectations for the third installment of Netflix’s A Christmas Prince movies (the first of which still holds up, have rewatched a million times). I was pleasantly surprised at the plot since it absurdly involves a curse, a dungeon, a rogue butler laughs fancilly and empowering women in government. I was sorely disappointed however that King Richard (Ben Lamb) must either be filming something or actually dealing with running Aldovia because he is sorely missing from a lot of this movie, something I didn’t realize I missed until re-watching A Christmas Prince and realizing the Prince actually talked and had a personality in that one. I mostly just cried with relief that it was over. I still want a fourth movie though – A Christmas Prince: Ah Another Holiday Market? -Marissa
Once you get past the fact that the word crone is used at some point, okay many points (a woman is literally billed as Old Crone), this is actually one of the most feminist-thinking holiday movies I’ve seen in a long time. We start in the past, somewhere in the 11th century I believe? Also somewhere in England. There is definitely a castle and everyone is far more clean than they should be. Preparation for a ceremony is underway and Sir Cole (our hero) can’t wait to watch his little brother become a knight. Unfortunately / Fortunately, he meets an Old Crone who curses him into modern times so he can find what he’s really looking for (guys it’s love). We then meet Vanessa Hudgens who I guess has gone full Christmas movies only now. She lives alone! She works a lot! She has a crappy ex-boyfriend! She’s perfect for Sir Cole. She takes him into her home, which is very dangerous, and we get to watch Sir Cole adjust to modern times.Here’s where the feminist part comes in. Apart from a few slip ups he accepts Vanessa Hudgens’ status as a modern woman with ease. He never questions the fact that she is single, childless, and working. He never asks her to change! And when he finally gets sent back to the past, he asks to return to the present (sorry this is a spoiler). For once a man left his home and all that he loves to be with a woman. My jaw dropped. And I have great news, while both Vanessa Hudgens and Josh Whitehouse (Sir Cole) are both singers… we are not saddled with any sort of musical number. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good Knight! – Jenn
READY FOR SOME NORTH POLE ACTION???
One of my all-time favorites growing up, I used to truly look forward to when it would become December and ABC Family would have their 25 Days of Christmas, which is truly just all 620 Santa Clause movies. Tim Allen is great, and Charlie sucks (fight me!), the North Pole is properly magical and everyone just kind of forgets that Tim Allen’s character inadvertently commits murder. -Marissa
Y’all Lori Loughlin is a National Hallmark Treasure. From Garage Sale Mysteries (I’ve seen every one) to When Calls The Heart (a period piece where Lori still gets to have great blonde highlights!) she is out there keeping the Hallmark Channel afloat which is why I made it a point to watch this movie. On the Hallmark Channel. That I pay for. Because I am the last 38-year-old woman who has cable. A lot of Hallmark Christmas movies involve inheriting things, big crazy things. In North Pole, Open for Christmas Loughlin’s character inherits an entire inn from her aunt (actually people inherit a lot of inns in these movies). And of course she’s not sure she wants to keep this stunningly gorgeous building that she had to pay absolutely nothing for. That’s when the magic of Christmas steps in, in the form of an elf sent down from the North Pole to help Loughlin reconnect with her childhood, which apparently involved a trip to the North Pole…which she revisits as an adult. It’s very difficult to make the North Pole not look like shit in movies. There is clearly a lot of CGI involved in creating an entire fantasy city. This movie does a pretty great job, and not just for a Hallmark movie. I would say my one complaint is everyone is a little toooooo accepting of the magic involved. If an elf took me to the North Pole I would lose my goddamn mind but Loughlin is pretty chill about it. Other than that watch this movie if you love beautiful old buildings, fixer upper porn and did I mention Dylan McDermott because he is inexplicably in this film. -Jenn
What can I say about wanting to have sex with Kurt Russell as Santa Claus that I haven’t already said all over social media? Basically I have a chimney he can cum down. And if you’re as uncomfortable as I am about wanting to bone St. Nick (Dick???) for the first time then we’re on the same page. And that page is page 69. Once you get past putting Santa on the Naughty List (these jokes aren’t gonna stop anytime soon) you’ll really love this movie which is that age-old tale of a happy family who loves Christmas who then struggles to love it after their father dies. That’s when the two kids discover that Santa is real(ly hot) and hijinx ensue. Look, child actors can be awful but The Christmas Chronicles really managed to find some lovely, charming, appropriately sarcastic kids. I would say this is one of those films that kids will like but buried within are jokes only adults will enjoy. Plus you’ll feel like a real ho ho ho for Santa (sigh). -Jenn
Possibly 2019’s offering with the highest star power voltage, Noelle is still delightfully, well, mediocre. Our title heroine (played with adequate spunk by Anna Kendrick, who, inexplicably is not given a single song or dance in this film) is the daughter of Santa Claus. Because she is a girl (sigh), once her dad passes away, the Santa hat is passed along to her brother Nick (Bill Hader, with nowhere enough screen time), who has zero interest or inclination to carry on the Kringle spirit. When Nick goes AWOL (where he decides to go is probably the one truly funny joke in the movie), Noelle, with her elf sidekick Polly (Shirley MacLaine, no less) sets out to find him, reconnect him to the Christmas spirit and maybe learn a few things about herself. Medium hijinks ensue, Billy Eichner and a few other beloved faces pop up, and all ends well. This movie is as reliable as a Starbucks seasonal latte, and just as original. – Svetlana
PEOPLE WHO WORK TOO HARD AT CHRISTMAS AND THUS ARE SINGLE
As someone who is both an event planner and a complete workaholic this really spoke to me on an emotional level. Not only because the main character (Jocelyn Hudon) is such a TERRIBLE event planner but also because inexplicably Kelly Rutherford (Serena’s mom from Gossip Girl) AND Joey Fatone from Nsync are in it. So just know that when he appears and you yell at your TV IS THAT THE GUY FROM NSYNC? Yes. Yes it is. Also included is a spoiler alert weird engagement after the couple has known each other approximately 48 hours (I may be exaggerating, if you think too hard about timelines in these movies your head will explode), either way I was screaming “they barely know each other!” at my computer while sobbing uncontrollably because of course, I cried at the end. -Marissa
Hands down this is my FAVORITE Christmas movie on Netflix. I discovered it last year and I truly spent the last 365 days talking about it. It has all the greatest hits: Beautiful house, snow, and of course an incredibly handsome ghost. Kate is a work-obsessed lawyer who ONCE AGAIN WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING has 3 days to get a bed and breakfast appraised and sold. There is just one problem, the B&B is haunted by a ghost who is able to show up once a year in corporeal form. And oh man is he ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. And she somehow doesn’t fall in immediate love with him. Look, dead or alive if you look like this dude I’m gonna want to bone you. Seriously. I cannot say enough about this man’s bone structure. I want to feel his spirit in me. Sorry. -Jenn
Christmas at Dollywood (Hallmark)
If you’re paying attention to the world (and your own hearts) you may have noticed an uptick in all things Dolly Parton. Netflix dropped a series based on eight Dolly Parton songs and yes one of them is “Jolene”. She is the subject of one of my favorite podcasts of 2019: Dolly Parton’s America. And now Hallmark (who we have mostly forgiven for their recent nonsense) gifted us with Christmas at Dollywood. Once again we are met with an overworked woman who barely has time to relax much less celebrate any sort of holiday. Danica McKellar (who I predict will be the new jewel in the Crown… Media. RIP Lori Loughlin) lives in New York City and is a successful event planner hoping to take over the company after her boss retires. When a big job falls through at the last minute, she gets the opportunity of a lifetime: planning the 30th anniversary celebration of Dollywood’s annual Smoky Mountain Christmas extravaganza. This is basically a real thing by the way.
To no one’s surprise she gets the job but is paired with the park’s operations manager who is inexplicably and confusingly going after the same job. Yes, it’s a dude. Will sparks fly? Yup. Is there a costume montage? Absolutely. Do we get to see Dolly Parton? Eventually. It’s well worth the wait and you will probably end up looking into taking your own trip to Dollywood. – Jenn
I was excited for Christmas in Rome, because 1) shot on location, 2) Mean Girls‘ Lacey Chabert and Sam Page (who in my IMDB research, keeps playing characters named Keith, although in this movie his name is Oliver), so how could it be anything but amazing? After some tour guide weirdness and not enough Christmas, I at one point looked up from my phone and realized the movie was mostly over and I did not care. Watch it on mute for Sam Page and some nice Roman scenery. -Marissa
Kirsten Davis plays a Park Avenue mom and wife who finds herself, relatively abruptly, without a child (he’s off to college) or husband (he leaves her promptly after the kid leaves for college). So, she does what any woman in that situation would do: heads to Africa, has a will-they-won’t-they first encounter with Rob Lowe (still not aging at all, thankyouverymuch), who then turns out to be her safari pilot (of course), falls in love with an elephant rescue colony (she was a veterinarian before the Park Avenue life) and stays there for good (or at least Christmas). That will they, won’t they energy? We’ll give you zero dollars if you guess what happens with that in the end. – Svetlana
TRYING TO FOOL YOUR FAMILY WITH A FAKE SIGNIFICANT OTHER???
This movie contains two of my favorite Hallmark Christmas Movie tropes….a mother that is pressuring her daughter to get married (in this day and age????) and a woman who hires a man to play her fiancee to appease her mother (um who has that kind of money, what does something like that cost???). This is a CLASSIC Hallmark Christmas Movie, from the gal who gets dumped AT Christmas to the falling in love with the man you paid to replace him. What luck! This film also stars another Hallmark Channel favorite, Haylie Duff (the OTHER Duff). The part of her hired fiancee is played by Jordan Bridges who I had previously only seen in the Melissa Joan Hart/Adrian Grenier 90’s gem: Drive Me Crazy. I often wonder if actors are just happy to be working or do they secretly resent doing Hallmark Movies. Please do not look a Hallmark Movie gift in the mouth. -Jenn
This one is ALSO about a fake couple but the twist? At one point they were actually a couple. This couple had a pretty quick romance that started on the 4th of July (America’s birthday is so romantic) and was over by Thanksgiving but for some reason they can’t physically or emotionally handle the prospect of spending Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s alone so they pretend to still be together? That’s so wild. This story arc is once again one of my faves. I am a single human who is usually single during the holidays (and during life) and I have never experienced this irrational pressure to be in a relationship FOR a holiday. Is it all the ornaments that look like balls? Getting stuffed like a turkey? Anyway to no one’s surprise they find their way back to each other because everyone knows when you force a relationship to happen, over the holidays which are generally very stressful, that relationship works. -Jenn
WOMEN WHO ARE HUNG UP ON THEIR SHITTY EX!
All great terrible Christmas movies begin with a woman TRAPPED in a hideous relationship. The relationship is so bad you’re left wondering if the man has ever felt an actual human emotion. She is usually wildly successful. He is usually wildly successful. He usually treats her like shit on the sole of life. Yay! Then girl meets very nice boy who is not quite as successful but who is clearly less of a serial killer and falls for him after ONE KISS. What this says to me (oh oh armchair psychologist coming at ya) is she is so absolutely starved for kindness that she will turn even an ounce of non-fuckery into a relationship. However that doesn’t happen right away because like any good narcissist, the shitty boyfriend will start playing nice-nice once he senses she’s slipping away. Also Christmas in San Francisco! -Jenn
This is my all time favorite Christmas movie and even I cannot fully explain why it’s so terrific other than it truly has all the best ingredients of an awful but amazing holiday movie. A very beautiful man (played by Zach from Saved By The Bell OR Mark- Paul Gosselaar, whichever you know him as), the main protagonist is hung up on her ex who NEVER treated her right who also (of course) has already moved on, oh and the best part it has the same plot as Groundhog Day, just… with Christmas. Also, I cried at the end. -Marissa
This is the movie I show everyone when they ask to watch one of my terrible Christmas movie favorites – because not only does it have all the parts of a fantastic bad Christmas movie (cheesy dialogue! falls for the wrong person! MAGIC! family togetherness! An awesome (and handsome heyyy) Grandpa! A woman who is too busy for love!) but it’s also so charming it is impossible to not enjoy.
Essentially a woman who is ~too busy and also down on her luck with jobs but manages to somehow have the world’s best apartment~ receives a magic advent calendar from her Grandpa. A magic. advent. calendar. Did I mention the calendar can predict the future? I truly would love to be a writer on one of these movies because nothing ever has to make sense and it is still 100% wonderful. Also features a fun sountrack and Quincy Jones, P-Diddy’s son who is almost but not quite as attractive as the Grandpa. A must watch. – Marissa
Okay so to be fully honest when doing some very important research for this article and watching as many of these movies as I could, I started this right after Princess Switch and immediately fell asleep and woke up and didn’t fully realize I was no longer watching Princess Switch because there was still so much Christmas. Anyways, so after re-starting this movie I can vouch for the fact that this movie has EVERYTHING! A family that fights all the time, Christmas, a blizzard, more Christmas, angels helping the aforementioned bickering family discover that Christmas is about family (if I am spoiling anything for you there I am sorry but you SHOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING). Also, I cried at the end. -Marissa
I refer to this movie as the City of Angels of Christmas movies. This movie is DARK. A woman dies (she gets hit by a BUS) and is sent to Heaven only to discover she hasn’t earned a spot yet. Why? What happened? What did she do? How bad can you be? So she’s sent back to Earth (bummer, this place sucks) to help her ex-boyfriend get his shit together. Wow, even in death women can’t escape emotional labor! Once again, and for no reason, she has to do this all before Christmas. Look, I love this movie. As far as angelic intervention goes it’s not bad. And her boyfriend is played by the ridiculously hot Derek Theler, but like damn….can’t a woman just die in peace? Also, it’s weird that the good deed Sarah has to perform is like helping her boyfriend fall back in love with his ex. That would fuck me up. -Jenn
UNAPPRECIATIVE OF YOUR SMALL TOWN ROOTS???
Okay, I kind of get having a high school reunion right before Christmas because people will already be home but I also DO NOT GET having a high school reunion right before Christmas because who has time for that shit? Also aren’t you just going to see all your high school friends at that one loser bar you all go to on Christmas Eve? Yes. You are. This movie is very Mean Girls-esque in that it features our main character revisiting some sort of bizarre group dance with her lady pals AT the reunion. And wouldn’t you know it the woman who returns also thinks this would be the perfect time to try to get back together with her high school boyfriend. Um have you seen your high school boyfriend lately? No. Anyway this is one of those movies that fully takes place during the age of social media but somehow treats this high school reunion as if everyone literally hasn’t seen each other since graduation day. It does star Rachel Boston who I previously loved in the short-lived Lifetime series Witches of East End (RIP) -Jenn
A very spoiled Paris Hilton circa 2006 rich girl inherits a charming inn in a small town (called Snow Falls! I’m not joking!) and discovers (among other things) that her life is much better with the extremely gorgeous Innkeeper and not her rich guy fiancé. There is also a life-changing snowstorm involved, and of course, I cried at the end. -Marissa
The second best new Christmas movie this year, this one has the absurd plots / deadlines that almost always revolve around Christmas. There’s a small town with an insane level of holiday spirit, a centuries old family feud and two warring inns (at one point one of them decides to build a spa). It is ridiculous fun, everyone is beautiful and I was left sobbing at how adorable it was. Essentially, big city lawyer Julia (Rachel Boston), returns to her family for the holidays, surprise… she is up for a bid promotion. But then small town hijinks occur – will she save her family’s inn? Will she get that promotion? WE KNOW THE ANSWERS BUT LOVE IT ALL ANYWAYS! – Marissa
WANNA WATCH AN INTERPRETATION OF A CHRISTMAS CAROL???
Dear God will no one write a role for Taryn Manning that is NOT trashy? This is your trailer park (literally) version of A Christmas Carol and while some of the stereotypes are kind of cringey it’s a really interesting take on a tale that has been taken (look those ghosts have a specific set of skills….) many times. Cindy is an unwed out of work mother who smokes, drinks and is obviously not a nerd. She is visited by 3 ghosts who decide to show her the error of her ways so she can clean up her act and make a better life for her children. This is movie is EXCELLENTLY cast with Beverly D’Angelo (ghost of Christmas future), Eric Roberts (ghost of Christmas present) and Meatloaf! (not a ghost but ya know…Meatloaf) so it’s worth the watch for the actors alone. -Jenn
Once again we take another crack at A Christmas Carol with Tori Spelling playing the part of Scrooge (Carol). Carol is a selfish, self-involved TV show host who does absolutely nothing for anyone else. Classic TV personality! Her future involves dying alone (take a number) unless she changes her evil ways. They also show her she will no longer be a star and in my opinion THAT is the real catalyst for change. Bonus: William Shatner and Gary Coleman are two of the ghosts. Beverly Hills 9021Oh Hell Yeah! -Jenn
LEGITIMATELY MERRY AND BRIGHT!
Eric (Luke Grimes) is looking for his long lost father (Tim Allen) which will end with them barricaded in a liquor store with 5 other people during an alleged robbery. Yes, Tim Allen is a crazy Republican but this is a very touching disturbing movie that left me in tears by the end. It takes place during Christmas but the overall aesthetic isn’t very Christmasy so if you’re looking for a standard snow-covered, idyllic town this isn’t the movie for you. If you’re looking for a sweet film about righting your wrongs, then do it. ALSO KIND OF DEPRESSING WHICH IS CHRISTMAS IN A NUTCRACKER – Jenn
You don’t need me to tell you to watch Love Actually. If you DO need me to tell you to watch Love Actually then stop what you’re doing and power up that Netflix tab you’ve been hiding in “Desktop 2” while you pretend to work and watch it. Prepare to cry at the end. – Marissa
A very heartwarming story about remembering the important things in life! I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but this was definitely a highlight of the 2019 offerings. A radio dj with four incredibly spoiled kids has to move in with his aunt after he loses his job and IN THE PROCESS discovers the meaning of family and falls in love – can you get any more heartwarming than that? – Marissa
A recipe for the best Christmas movie so far this season: a dash of Love Actually, some snow, one Shameik Moore (playing Stuart, a superstar trying to be normal for a few hours), so many cute side plots that your brain will hurt from the warm and fuzzies (one involves a snowplow driver stealing a cell phone and throwing it out in a window which we are supposed to support but it gave me such anxiety), a waffle restaurant with the W missing, throw it all in a blender, blend for 1 hour and 32 minutes, and be pleasantly surprised at how good the results are. Also we need to talk about Shameik Moore. – Marissa.
Side note from Svetlana: Bonus points for Kiernan Shipka being in it. Minus points for Noah Centineo NOT being in it. And now for our (almost) million dollar idea for Netflix Holiday Season 2020: A Sabrina Christmas (but make it witchy) Movie.
Coming in ~hot~ after the 2010 launch of the classic Fireplace for your Home (not to be confused with Fireplace for your Home – Classic Edition), this is truly a pile of burning logs. No script, but with a sufficient amount of coziness, it has all the makings of a holiday movie. It’s perfect for people who just want to watch the world, or some wood, burn. I didn’t cry at the end of this one, but just restarted it, and it was like it had never ended. – Marissa
A LIST OF HOLIDAY MOVIES WE HAVE YET TO WATCH BUT ARE PLANNING TO (AND YES WE CHECKED THIS TWICE )