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Brandon Wetherbee hosts the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody at the Wonderland Ballroom in D.C. and in Baltimore, Brooklyn, Chicago and Philadelphia. Listen to it online at youmethemeverybody.com. He’ll be hosting You, Me, Them, Everybody Friday, February 1 at the Wonderland Ballroom with house band Marky Mark’s McGrath, guests Jennifer Tress, Yev Kirpichevsky and Adam Friedland.

Irony has become reality. I am sincerely trying to get on the Mark McGrath and Friends Cruise. As a performer. With the talk show. The whole cast and crew and band. Sincerely. Ironically. I am no longer sure.

We live in this reality.

Sugar Ray still exists. I have sincerely enjoyed some Sugar Ray music. I saw the band at a radio station jamboree type thing in 1997. They performed “Fly.” Arms were put around babies. McGrath recently broke his leg so he performed in a cast, on crutches. He joked about it. It was funny. I sincerely had a good time.

When you dance on the ceiling in the “Fly” video, you break ankles. 

As the 90’s wound down, the popularity of Sugar Ray waned. McGrath embraced his fate. He moved to the small screen.

As their popularity waned, Sugar Ray took a dip in the pool. In the “Fly” video.

I know I sincerely enjoy Mark McGrath as a television personality. He’s self-deprecating, self-aware and funny. Appearances on “Rock and Roll Jeopardy” led to co-hosting “Extra,” a very horrible, lowest common denominator show. But McGrath was good on it. He knew his role. Happy to be there. The dude just wanted to hang out.

Oh shit! I forgot about the random rap verse in “Fly”! Super Cat!

For the last few years McGrath has been touring with Sugar Ray at every state fair that will have them. I am not making fun of the band or the man. He says this. I like that. I don’t think I’m operating from a place of hatred or mockery or irony. I think I sincerely enjoy the man and do not hate the band.

He’s good with kids! How can you hate that!

I was going to write about how “Fly” predicted 9/11 (“All around the world statues crumble for me”) or how “Fly” predicted the second Iraq War and torture (“Love can make you hostage, Wanna do it again”) or how “Fly” advocates incest (“My mother, she told me so, (Yeah, yeah, check it out)”). I was going to be irreverent and shit on a guy who tried and succeeded with dyed blonde tips. That’s just jealousy disguised as commentary.

I was going to write about the Coachella lineup and the Coachella lineup that would be much better and how the only thing missing is Sugar Ray. That’s mean.

This does look fun.

I no longer want to write those things. I think my ironic love for Mark McGrath and Sugar Ray has turned into something real. I love Mark McGrath and Sugar Ray. I think I love the idea of Mark McGrath and Sugar Ray. Love is too strong. I think I enjoy the idea of Mark McGrath and Sugar Ray. I could do without the band. I am willing to tolerate the thought of Mark McGrath. That’s the one.

So let’s go on a cruise! All rooms will have beds with four posts, halos (condoms), hair dye, arms to put around me, bros and the guy from Everclear.

His name is Art.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night. The cruise departs in 265 days!