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Brandon Wetherbee hosts the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody at the Wonderland Ballroom and in Baltimore, Brooklyn, Chicago and Philadelphia. Listen to it online at youmethemeverybody.com. He’ll be at the Kennedy Center on the Millenium Stage on Sunday, September 9 hosting DC’s Top 5 with performances from Jodi Lynn Anderson, Janel and Anthony, Mab, Just Mab, SM Shrake and Jenn Tisdale.

Sometimes old people talk to chairs. They attempt to answer unasked questions about politics. It does not go well. That’s OK. Let me explain how politics and money works. Warning: SPOILERS!

I host a talk show named after a quote from “The Blues Brothers.” That film explains how music and entertainment works. Cool people play cool music and stuff explodes and Nazi’s suck. That’s music. Another film by the same legendary director explains the rest. Jonathan Landis’ “Trading Places” clearly maps out money and politics.

Rich people in Philadelphia have the money. They like to play with the money. They keep photos of Ronald Reagan on their desk. One wears a bow tie. Only bad people wear bow ties.

Sometimes they like to screw with people. Slightly less rich people, poor people, whomever. They call it an experiment and do whatever they want. The results vary. Sometimes people are better off, most of the time they’re not.

Sometimes Gus from “Breaking Bad” shows up.

Now the guy that was just hustling to get by is rich and the guy that went to Harvard doesn’t know what happened. It doesn’t make much sense.

The guy that was rich but is now poor. At least he gets to look at some cool boobs.

The poor guy that’s now rich understands the market because he’s still in touch with the ‘real world.’ The ‘real world’ is not as exciting as “The Real World.” That’s O.K. because no one watches “The Real World” anymore.
Just when the formerly rich guy can’t go any lower, he eats a stolen fish on a bus. Then the lady with the cool boobs, the guy that eats fish and the guy that was poor and is now rich team up. The butler joins in.

The think of a plan that includes anal rape, black face and more cool boobs.

The plan works. They get super-duper rich and screw over the older rich dudes.

Then the old people have heart attacks and one dies.

29 years later, the guy that was rich then poor and back to rich sells vodka in clear skulls.

29 years later the guy that was poor then rich then super rich picks up prostitutes that he thought were female but were not female.

29 years later the lady with the cool boobs sells poop yogurt.

29 years later the other old guy doesn’t know what happened and ends up talking to a chair in front of a lot of excited / confused people.

That’s politics. Black face, anal rape, blatant homophobia, crippling greed and confusion. Or maybe politics is just about Alice In Chains.


Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night.