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By Brandon Wetherbee

Brandon Wetherbee hosts the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody the first two Friday’s of the month at the Wonderland Ballroom and in Brooklyn and Chicago once a month. Subscribe to it online at youmethemeverybody.com. He’ll be hosting You, Me, Them, Everybody Live! Friday, March 2 at the Wonderland Ballroom with guests S.M. Shrake, Courtney Fearington and Margaret Wasaff.

I’ve written about my love of the Foo Fighters before. Kind readers of this site were so great that I was able to see the band in a real life American arena this past fall. That hadn’t happened since I was 14 and played the role of look out for my female friend so she could give a boy with a car a hand job. Since my most recent arena rock experience, I’ve listened to too much Foo Fighters. It is possible to ruin good things and I did that. I listened to not the bands first two releases, not very good stuff, at least for this dude. I began questioning whether I have decent taste, whether the band was ever good. It turns out that I have not bad taste and the band was once good, I was just being dumb.

I do not know Dave Grohl, yet I talk about him like a friend that forgot where he came from. This is wrong for two obvious reasons. 1. I do not know Dave Grohl and 2. Who cares? Watching the 2011 ‘documentary’ about the band helped me realize that whether or not the Foo Fighters make good music isn’t what matters. As the only rock and roll band representing a genre at the most recent Grammy’s, it would be nice if they were good, but what can you do? The point I’m trying to make is that quality doesn’t matter as much as not being a dick.

Dave Grohl is known as the nicest man in music. Whether or not this is true does not matter. The perception of him does. Hosting my talk show, I talk to friends and strangers in the entertainment industry on a weekly basis. Some are just starting out, some have been nominated for Grammy’s. Some are very nice people, some are dicks. I am sometimes very nice and sometimes I’m a dick. Why? Dumb things I can’t and should not control like the success of others gets in my head.

Most folks know of Grohl as the drummer of Nirvana and front man of the Foo Fighters. In ’95, it was likely that he’d be remembered as the drummer of that one band and end up as a footnote. This didn’t happen because Grohl actually tried. Yes, rock and roll and all worthwhile art comes from trying, which is not sexy, druggy or rock and rolly. This is the same in literature, film, comedy, etc. The reason why we still know of Grohl, why he played multiple times on the Grammy’s and appeared as Animal’s replacement in “The Muppets” is because he tried. He wasn’t the guy at the club doing blow and missing practices. He was the guy at the club probably doing blow and not missing practices. This took a while to figure out.

When the talk show started I was jealous of people with success. Now I am happy for my friends and former guests that are doing well. I’m not sure if it’s because I found people who are like minded or I realized that being a bitter angry dick is not attractive to anyone. Here’s an example.

Very pretty, maybe interested female: Hey, did you see that Aziz Ansari special? That guy sure is funny.

Not too pretty, overly interested male: Yea, that guy isn’t funny. He didn’t deserve that special. He’s only been doing comedy a few years. He got too big, too fast. People only like him because he’s loud. Jon Benjamin is funnier. And Andy Daly, but not his “Mad TV” stuff, just his recent character work. Why do you like Aziz anyways? Do you have a thing for brown dudes?

Do you want to date that male? No one wants to date that male. If you think you are that male, maybe a Dave Grohl-like response might work better.

Very pretty, maybe interested female: Hey, did you see that Aziz Ansari special? That guy sure is funny.

Not too pretty, overly interested male: I didn’t see that. We should watch it sometime! Let’s do shots! I play drums! Life is fun!

That guy sounds fun!

With the life lessons of Dave Grohl in mind, hey everybody, let’s be friends. Let’s look harder to find people we like so when success comes, we don’t have to fake being happy for them. Whether it’s with guitarists from seminal punk bands or just some folks that don’t make you cringe, try to surround yourself with folks that never make you think of whether they deserve what they receive. No one wears bitterness well, especially young people. That being said, sorry for everything I said from ages 13 to 27, maybe 28. I’m still learning.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night.