Behind The Desk 151: Thank you, TV Head Man*
There’s a man putting TVs on people’s porches.
Why?
Because.
That’s it. That’s the story. It’s perfect.
TV Head Man, if you’re reading this, please know you’re everything right with our surveillance state. You’re using televisions to illustrate what we watch, who we watch, how we watch, spreading your message through doorbells that record our every movement.
Or not.
Whatever.
Maybe you’re performance artist and this is the performance art.
Maybe you’re filming a music video or student film or something with a low budget.
Maybe you have a bunch of TVs and want to share your TVs.
Maybe you’re cosplaying as a character unfamiliar to most.
Maybe you’re sad and want to spread TV love to make the world a better place.
Maybe you’re happy and want to remind everyone to get out of their digital box before it’s too late.
Maybe you’re not real and this is a beautiful hallucination featuring a not so distant but soon to be obsolete technology.
I have so many theories and since you’re sharing old TVs I don’t think you’re some sort of experiential marketing and as long as you’re not that, I’ll be happy. We’ll all be happy.
I want to know your motivations. But I do not need to know your motivations, I just think it would be more fun.
I do not need to know your identity. I don’t think I want to know your identity. You are all of us. We are all of you. You are Anonymous but cool. You’re TV Head.
I have so may questions for you TV Head Man. Most are music related.
Is your favorite song The Stooges’ “T.V. Eye” or Black Flag’s “T.V. Party” or do you like all Television songs equally? I hope it’s The Stooges but we like what we like and just because you technically have a TV eye doesn’t mean you need to love “T.V. Eye.” You do you.
I am in your debt, TV Head Man.
This column began in 2011 as a way to write about pop culture and how it relates to my talk show. Throughout the years I’ve watched less and less late night, only now tuning in when a friend is on screen. This led to fewer columns and fewer thoughts about a medium I once loved. TV Head Man, you’ve reminded me of what TV could be. Television can be more than just a way to soothe your psyche at night. It can be anything you want it to be (as long as what you want is a stranger putting a two decade plus piece of technology on your porch in the middle of the night).
*I’m using the word man because the original Washington Post article refers to you as a man. You may be a woman. I am not attempting to assign a gender to your being. There may be more than one of you. Maybe there’s a TV Head Man inside all of us. I hope there is.
Brandon Wetherbee is the host of the You, Me, Them, Everybody talk show. See him Friday, September 6 at The Wonderland Ballroom and Friday, September 20 with Allison Lane, Alexandra Petri, Haywood Turnipseed Jr and Slow Love at The Kennedy Center.
