Behind the Desk 143: I’m the Devil
Brandon Wetherbee | Dec 2, 2016 | 12:30PM |

Brandon Wetherbee is the host of the You, Me, Them, Everybody talk show. See him Friday, December 2 at The Wonderland Ballroom with Allison Lane, Valerie Perry, Max Wolfson, Haywood Turnipseed Jr, Dee Ahmed and Norm Quarrinton.

My name is Brandon Wetherbee. I’m the host of You, Me, Them, Everybody. For over 8 years I’ve interviewed writers and comics and musicians and chefs and reporters and filmmakers and everyone in between. I’ve met thousands of kind people, performed in dozens of cities and released over 500 episodes. It’s been a blessing. And I know about blessings. Because I’m the Devil.

Yes. The Devil. I am the Devil.

Boo!

Gotcha!

Relax. Everything is fine. I’m the Devil.

I am the mythical creature the Devil. Or idea of the Devil. Myths aren’t real. Ideas are just ideas until someone does something to create. But if you believe in God and the Devil, I’m the latter. I am the Devil.

Why come out now? Is 2016 such a bad year that I no longer feel like hiding? Maybe.

Is it because of a new president elect? Not really. I started this show when George W. Bush was in office.

Is it because the Internet? Kinda.

Is it because words and actions no longer matter? Yep. That’s the one. I’m the Devil.

Aren’t I a little old to be writing like an angry pre-teen? Shouldn’t I have gotten this out of my system during my Catholic school years? I thought I did. Guess I was wrong to hide my true self. I guess all those conclusions I reached as a child weren’t wrong. I thought things like actions and words mattered. Nope! I’m the Devil.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Sometimes I do that and people read into things. There’s no reason to read into things. I’m the Devil. Just listen to me. Use your free will with reason. Don’t read every 6th letter and think that’s the real message. That’s just silly. Stop being silly. That’s a command. I’m the Devil.

Forgive me for being a little scatterbrained. As the Devil, I have a lot of responsibilities and when you’re thinking about multiple things it’s easy to lose focus. I’m currently thinking about my second favorite show, RuPaul’s Drag Race. My favorite show is Chicago Cubs World Series baseball. I like a lot of different types of television. Don’t box me in. I do my show to reflect my tastes. The Devil doesn’t like just one thing. I’m the Devil. Focus up, me, the Devil.

I started a talk show in the fall of 2008. Our first live show was in the fall of 2009. Our first D.C. show was in the fall of 2010. I met BYT founder/creator/head honcho Svetlana Legetic on our 2nd D.C. show. I began writing for the site in 2011. I became Managing Editor in 2013. 2008 + 2009 – 2010 ^ 2 / 2011 * 2013 = 666.9! Do the math, sheeple! JK. That’s not the correct answer. And that equation doesn’t mean anything. I’m having fun. I’m the Devil.

For the last 3 and a half years I’ve been with BYT I can promise you we have never advocated pedophilia. We have donated to Planned Parenthood and threw the annual Capital Pride opening party and published thousands of posts that championed artists from across the cultural spectrum. To some people, that’s evil. So we, BYT, are embracing it. Hail Satan. I’m the Devil.

Earlier in the piece I mentioned actions and words don’t matter. I believe this and you can trust me because I’m an authority on evil. Anyway, in addition to PizzaGate proving facts don’t matter, the House of Representatives Committee on Science, Space, and Technology is Tweeting out the opposite of science from a white power site, the future Vice President supported the use of federal funding to treat people “seeking to change their sexual behavior” (aka conversion therapy), the future President bragged about sexual assault and our local NFL team is named the Redskins. Racism, sexism, homophobia and ignorance is thriving, at least in certain corners of the Internet. So if facts don’t matter and fear of the other is in vogue, I’ll be the most evil other. I’m the Devil.

Yesterday former Trump campaign manager and CNN talking head Corey Lewandowski said, “This is the problem with the media. You guys took everything Donald Trump said so literally.” He continued, “The American people didn’t. They understood it. They understood sometimes when you have a conversation with people, whether it’s around the dinner table or at a bar, you’re going to say things and sometimes you don’t have all the facts to back it up.”

So, without all the facts to back it up, please know that I’m the Devil.

Side note: Before this writing, the greatest trick I ever pulled was convincing you I don’t exist. Now that you know I exist, my greatest tricks are institutional racism and sexism.

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