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Brandon Wetherbee is the host of the You, Me, Them, Everybody talk show. See him Thursday, September 10 with some friends DJing at The Looking Glass Lounge for Dream Jukebox.

George Clooney was the first guest on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. George Clooney was the first guest on The Rosie O’Donnell Show. I didn’t look that up. I remember watching that show. The other guests were Susan Lucci and Toni Braxton. That’s stupid. That’s a stupid piece of trivia I’ve had in my skull for nearly 20 years. I don’t want to know this stuff, I just know this stuff. I don’t remember the name of my second grade teacher, never found out the town my mother was born in and will never be able to tell you the name of the first girl I kissed, but I know George Clooney was the first guest on two talk shows.

The cold open of the first The Dana Carvey Show featured Carvey as Bill Clinton breast feeding a group of puppies. Stephen Colbert was on that show. I video taped that show and watched it until it wore out and looked like a snuff film of a man with 8 nipples feeding animals from his teats. Future episodes of The Dana Carvey Show opened with sponsor plugs. Mug Root Beer and Diet Mug Root Beer sponsored specific episodes of the show. Sabra Hummus was plugged and mocked in the first desk piece of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

The long pause in the Clooney segment from the first The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is no different than Craig Ferguson’s intentional long pauses to close interviews. Rather than close something Colbert was leading to a bit mocking throwing to a clip. It was a nice nod to another CBS late night host that played with convention.

The appearance of Clooney was a good way to tie The Late Show with David Letterman (Clooney appeared on the last few weeks of Letterman, he handcuffed himself to Dave) to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Also, he’s a very attractive man that a lesbian in 1996 and a straight male in 2015 have no qualms calling attractive. He’s an attractive man.

I unfollowed multiple people while watching The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Anyone that panned the inaugural episode was unfollowed. Anyone that praised Fallon over Colbert was unfollowed. Anyone that didn’t like the host announcing his own show was unfollowed. I shouldn’t be looking at Twitter while actively watching a television show. I know better. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with preferring one late night host to the other, hell all three major hosts share an agent and at least the NYC based ones appear to be friends.

I’m not going to be able to view The Late Show with Stephen Colbert as a critic. I can’t view it as a comedy fan or a late night connoisseur. When talking to other excited people about The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, it became clear that I’m watching this show like a playoff game. I’m rooting for the show the same way I root for the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup Finals. Similar to that hockey team, I’m not really connected to the show. Yes, people I know are affected by it, but not me or my family or close friends. But I’m rooting for it, not watching it or dissecting it. I’m rooting for my team.

This isn’t a judgement on the first episode of a late night show. It’s unfair and mostly pointless to judge the first episode of a late night show. The show will change. The first episode of The Colbert Report wasn’t very good. The first episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert was much, much better than the first episode of The Colbert Report (still not really judging, hear me out). What you can tell from a first episode of a late night show is what it’s trying to do. It’s trying to do good things that have been appealing to me since I’ve been following this stuff. It’s willing to mock and play with sponsorship, it’s not too negative, it appreciates George Clooney’s looks, it’s willing to talk about politics without trying to ‘win’ an issue, it’s smart without trying to make anyone feel dumb. I’m going to like this team. I already like this team. I’m pointlessly defensive of my team. I hope you like my team and if you don’t I’ll do my best from blocking you on all forms of social media.

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