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Brandon Wetherbee is the host of the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody. It records Saturday, January 25 at The Creek and The Cave in New York City. Episodes from Milwaukee, Chicago and Washington DC were released this week. Find them at youmethemeverybody.com.

Anthony Bourdain is doing a cool thing. He’s planning on opening a large food market in Manhattan. I found this out thanks to the very helpful Internet Web Site named ‘Gothamist’. In the article, helpfully titled, “Anthony Bourdain Is Opening An International Food Market In NYC” (See! Helpful!), I read that Anthony Bourdain is a, “Culinary bad boy and TV personality.”

Bad boy!

I knew he was a TV personality, but bad boy! I had no idea! I had to ask my co-workers what made this more than competent, adult, male a bad boy. They told me about his drug past. His past. His 20+ year ago past. The stuff that he did before he was the host of multiple, successful television programs, author of best sellers and husband and father. Doing some blow when he was in his 20s made Anthony Bourdain a bad boy forever. I had no idea!

Guess what, I’m a bad boy!

That’s right, the dude that’s currently writing this has done some pretty bad boy activities. I have done things that would make a basic cable television host blush! The kinds of things that also made the basic cable television host blush because he was already blushing because of an unhealthy amount of alcohol in his system. Bad boys like the sauce!

What are some of those things?

I smoked a few cigarettes one time. Call me the James Dean of smoking cigarettes one time! I can think of at least one bad boy chef that has smoked a few cigarettes AT LEAST one time. Not sure who I’m talking about? Here’s his initials: A.B. Still can’t guess? Bad boys don’t name names.

I played in a music band. Yeah. Did that. We played some pretty loud songs. Some might have even called us a ‘punk’ band. We maybe even had a MySpace band page that had ‘punk’ as the genre. I wonder who else likes ‘punk’ music bands? Oh, maybe a certain bad boy chef?

I cooked a few dishes in my life. Yep. Got behind the cutting board and cut the fuck out of some vegetables. No diners, drive-ins and dives for me, just hardcore cooking with good, old fashioned food ingredients like food. Bad boys don’t need shit food. Bad boys like real, organic ingredients.

I have expressed my anger and frustration in a meaningless hand gesture! BB4Life!

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I have reviewed restaurants and said the f word!

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I have fucked a sandwich!

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It’s pretty clear that I am a bad boy. Just like the guy who I actually enjoy is a bad boy, I go against the system. By go against the system, I mean that I follow deadlines and care about my work and swear and take responsibility for my actions. We’re a couple of rock stars! Rock stars that don’t play to 10K+ people a night or wake up after noon or have all the AIDS. Yep, we’re literally bad boy rock stars!

Yesterday I met a new friend. We had both spent some time in Chicago. She informed me of her love of the Congress Theater. I told her that my partner and I once had an office literally next door to the Congress Theater. She asked if it was near the CVS a block away. No, I said, literally next door. She was shocked I used the word literally correctly.

Anthony Bourdain is a remarkably gifted and talented television host with a good enough business sense to open a successful food market in Manhattan. He is not a rock star. He is not a bad boy. He is literally a businessman. There are rumors and books that Puff Daddy literally helped orchestrate the death of his enemies. Puff Daddy and Puff Daddy alone is literally the only rock and roll star bad boy. Everyone else is just some dude that did coke for a few years. Or likes The Ramones. Who doesn’t like The Ramones?

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