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Brandon Wetherbee is the host of the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody. It records Friday, September 6 at the Wonderland Ballroom in DC and Saturday, September 7 at The Creek and the Cave in NYC.

Twerking is a word old and young people know and use and do not understand. It is a word that I have not used yet understood for years. I know words like twerk because I host a talk show and people that host talk shows are in the know. I have not participated in twerking because I am an adult male who is in a committed relationship. Twerking is for the young and single. So I’ve stayed away from twerking.

Today’s column was originally going to be about the commercialization of Burning Man. It was going to tie together press releases about the upcoming Jay Z tour, new restaurants and film festivals to the odd festival institution. I incorporated odd rules set by very popular artists and local crazy people. I was going to shine a light on the oddness of the entertainment business. Then I stopped writing that article because I watched a video.

A sociologist friend of mine sent me this very important piece of audio/video footage. He asked me to give the video my full attention. I stopped writing my column and gave the video my full attention. I am glad I did. I am now asking you to do the same.

Did you see that? Really see it? Let’s review.

The star of this short film is checking to make sure her camera is pointed in the correct direction. When you’re the director, producer and star of your own film, sometimes you also have to be the cameraman. It’s pretty awesome to see the DIY spirit alive in 2013.

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Look at that young women! Good for her! She sure has worked hard to maintain an athletic figure! In honor of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign, let’s move!

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This person wants the music to be louder, so she walked over to her audio device to pump up the jams! If you’re going to dance, dance like no one is watching! And make it hard to hear anything else! Right?

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Why look at that! Upside down twerking with the aid of a door! This person is the MacGyver of tweking!

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Hey, it’s her roommate! It’s important to have roommates. It keeps city living fun and young. There’s no time to be sad when there’s a fun roommate! I bet these two are like two of the people on the hit television show Friends! And you know what? I bet they are actual friends as well! Like the people on the television show Friends!

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And now she’s falling.

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And now she’s on fire.

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Wasn’t that a fun and informative video?

This video encompasses everything that’s going on in the world. It’s a metaphor. It’s a metaphor for co-opting cultures (white girl twerking). It’s a metaphor about the US and Syria (Syria is the table). It’s a metaphor for scented candles (also on the table). It’s a metaphor about the truther movement (who really made her fall?). It’s a metaphor for Burning Man (she’s on fire). It’s a metaphor about how people are flammable (she’s on fire).

Sure, there will be deniers. People will think this video is fake. What’s that sound the table makes before she makes contact? What kind of pants is she wearing? At what temperature do pants ignite? Wouldn’t those candles go out? All reasonable questions. All besides the point. Fake or not, this person just twerked herself on fire. And that’s something that can unite all of us.

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