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Brandon Wetherbee is the host of the talk show/podcast You, Me, Them, Everybody. You can subscribe to it on iTunes. Episode 300 will be recorded tonight in Chicago at the Hungry Brain with Esmeralda Leon, Dmitry Samarov, Kristin Clifford, Adrian Krygowski, Jeremy Tromburg and Stephanie Hasz.

Episode 300 of You, Me, Them, Everybody will be recorded tonight. Here are 30 lessons I’ve learned from hosting a talk show.

1. People that are willing to appear on a talk show are fun and willing to have more fun.

2. Demanding a crowd listen to you talk to one specific person is weird. If you host a talk show you’re a weirdo.

3. Bands think they’re funny.

4. Most bands are not funny.

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5. Having a drummer in your house band will give you an odd feeling of power on and off the stage.

6. The day after hosting a show with a drummer in the house band you’ll find yourself pointing behind you expecting to hear a rim shot. When a rim shot isn’t there you will exclaim, out loud, “Come on!” and confuse the cats in your apartment or non-cat people on the street.

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7. Stand ups are fun.

8. Stand ups tend to be a little more unhealthy than every other type of guest.

9. People with radio experience are the perfect guests on a podcast.

10. Certain people do not like to hear certain words and you need to learn to respect their wishes. Sometimes you learn the hard way.

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11. Wearing a suit to a show is not a big deal in DC but will garner glances in every other American city.

12. Don’t change into a suit in a Brooklyn coffee shop restroom.

13. Anyone that’s willing to come out to see a different type of show is generous.

14. Be nice to the crowd.

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15. Not every crowd likes multiple references tied to catastrophic tragedies. Only some crowds. Chicago is totally fine with catastrophic tragedy based humor.

16. Philadelphia crowds are cool with mentions of throwing batteries at Santa Claus. The typical Philadelphia crowd response: “That Santa sucked!”

17. Baltimore is the real star of The Wire. Give the star the respect it deserves.

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18. LA. Traffic sure is bad, am I right?

19. If you book a six-piece metal band that has their own light show and fog machines you will blow a fuse in the club and the club will go black and it will be amazing but it doesn’t really translate to the podcast.

20. If you’re going to book a six-piece metal band that has their own light show and fog machine make sure you have someone that can film the show.

21. You will have to explain the premise of a talk show to everyone you meet.

22. Whether you do a good or bad show, people will give you notes after the show. Smile and be nice when receiving these notes.

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23. Sometimes you’ll have a person you respect and admire in the guest chair but for some reason you can’t stop referencing the band Sugar Ray and the classic song “Fly” and it’s the funnest and funniest thing (in your mind) and that’s OK.

24. All around the world statues crumble for me.

25. Having the house band play “Lose Yourself” by Eminem after each segment is hilarious.

26. Don’t hide what you like. There are no guilty pleasures. If you do a show long enough, you’ll expose your love of bands like Pearl Jam and people will say you like dad rock but whatever because Pearl Jam rules and feel free to let your Pearl Jam flag fly. Given to fly.

27. Tip the staff.

28. Try to keep the volume of your voice in check. Really try. Microphones pick up sound.

29. If you end the show with a mic drop you just had a good show.

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30. It’s fun. You should host a talk show.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful night.

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