Back To School: A Shopping Guide

It’s BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON, and whether you’re a student or not, it’s a very good excuse to get your productive vibes up to speed through a little good old fashioned retail therapy. I scoured Amazon (and a select few other spots) for all the best (fairly gender-neutral) stuff to help you get motivated to wake up early, get a little organized, and MAYBE (just maybe) even PACK your lunch instead of shelling out your hard-earned bucks for fast-casual on the daily. Before we get going, full disclosure – there are cacti ahead, because how the fuck else are people supposed to know it’s 2017 if you don’t say it with desert plants? But there’s plenty of other stuff if that’s not your jam, so let’s launch into all of it RIGHT NOW:

First things first – to start the day, you have to get out of bed. And I get it – alarm clocks are becoming obsolete since everyone just uses their cell phones now, but if you’re like me, there’s a chance you’ve developed cellular wake-up call PTSD that’s triggered with every incoming call and text, and so maybe you just want to start separating your process of emerging from sleep and your main form of communication, yeah? In which case I would like to suggest any/all of the above alarm clocks; some are ultra-high-tech w/ USB ports and voice control, while others get the job done without too much modern fuss. Either way, they’re all (in my opinion) pretty aesthetically on-point. TREAT YO’ SELF.

A. White Twin Bell – $13.99
B. Bamboo Flip Clock – $44.99
C. LED Wood Digital Temperature Clock – $21.99
D. LED USB Port Clock – $34.95
E. Brass Whimsical Numerals – $35.99
F. Retro Red Date Flip Clock – $6.95

Second step – CAFFEINE. Maybe you’re a coffee person. Maybe you’re into tea. (Maybe whiskey’s your thing. Only god can judge you!) Whatever your wake-up beverage of choice is, though, chances are it’ll be even better in a good mug! And here are seven of them I thought were P. GREAT!

A. Good Vibes Only – $10
B. White Cat – $9.99
C. Fountain Drink – $9.21
D. Golden Girls – $9.21
E. Don’t Tell Me To Smile – $15.99
F. Frida + Diego – $25
G. Cactus – $15

Not all people are into using backpacks, but I think that’s mainly because they’ve not tried it as an adult. And let me tell you, that hands-free, arms-free life is KIND OF MAGICAL, so you might want to give good old rucksacks another go before you rule them out completely. I think we’d all manage to look pretty grown-up with the above designs, unless you want to be more of a fun-lovin’ millennial, in which case F. is obviously the option for you! (I flippin’ told you there would be cacti. IT’S 2017, GODDAMMIT.)

A. Himawari Vintage Schoolbag – $32.99
B. Sandqvist Hege Backpack – $259
C. Fjallraven Rucksack No. 21 Daypack – $224.91
D. Matt & Nat Katherine Vintage Backpack, Quartz – $175
E. HotStyle 992S Miminalist College Travel Backpack – $33.99
F. Joymoze Print Backpack – $26.98

And why not brighten up your workspace with some new, (mostly) colorful additions??? Whether you want to back up your files w/ sushi, take notes in the middle of a rainstorm, pay homage to the library checkout systems of yore or track your daily intentions for boosted accountability, there are plenty of things to brighten up your desk.

A. Rite in the Rain All-Weather Top-Spiral Notebook, 4″ x 6″ – $6.15
B. Smead Super Tab Notes File Folder, Oversized, Assorted Colors (Pack of 12) – $11.27
C. MUJI 60 ColoRed Pencils in Tube – $$27.94
D. Tomons Wood Swing Arm Desk Lamp, Green – $29.99
E. Rapesco 3/4″ Powder Blue Emoji Binder Clips, Box of 20 – $6.99
F. 8GB Shrimp Sushi USB Thumb Drive – $10.99
G. Knock Knock Daily Intention Tracker Note Pad – $5.98
H. Out of Print Library Pouch – $18.99
I. Field Notes, Set of 3 48-Page Memo Books – $9.95

Finally, let’s not forget about the best part of any workday (apart from quitting time), aka LUNCH! Now, as I mentioned before, the siren song of the fast-casual joint is often strong, but if you bring your lunch on the daily you might save yourself some serious cash. (Cash in the range of $50-$100 a week, $200-$400 a month, which can be exchanged for things like alcohol or vacations or etc.) And what better incentive to pack snacks than a new lunchbox? We’ve got three concretely grown-up designs, one that straddles the fence, one that’s for those of you whose soul has not died, and one for those of you who prefer soup! (And practicality!)