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This week, your Kalender of Komedy events is brought to you by Driving Skills. Some people just don’t have them. I like to practice offensive driving techniques, in the belief that if you’re veering into other folks lanes and jammin on the horn with your middle finger all the bad drivers around will think you’re Loco and keep their distance. It served me well when I delivered pizzas, except for the pizzas.

ANYWAY HERE IS YOUR DAILY CALENDER OF COMEDAAAAAAH LOOK OUT FOR DAT TRUCK.

Monday:

You missed the turnoff for that, jerk. Quit texting.

Tuesday:

Solly’s Tavern is getting so popular the last time I went there were 22 comics wanting to get on for 17 spots. The extra five had to pretend to be audience members so they cursed obscurely and hit on the performers. If you choose to go, don’t drink and drive.

Wednesday:

Nadds in Baltimore has an open mic, so swerve up the Parkway to check it out if for nothing else other than to hear the inevitable Nadds = Balls quips.

Closer to the nest, the DC Improv’s comedy school is having their graduation ceremonies, so go watch your friends be funny before they get jaded!

Thursday:

Clare and Don’s Beach Shack is right next to the State Theater and has fucking awesome fried alligator. Brave VA driver insanity to catch their comedy night at 9 pm.

Friday:

Speakeasy DC, the storytelling organization often featuring hilarious people, is having a special event at the Library Of Congress at noon. I’m Not Going to Be a Doctor: Growing Up Asian in America, lunch and light-hearted recollections of being otherfied by the mainstream, featuring MD native comic Vijai Nathan. I wouldn’t bring any jokes about Asian drivers if I were you.

At Wonderland Ballroom is the event this column is inspired by today, Don’t Block The Box. A bevy of the best DC comedians around right now, Aparna Nancherla, Keith Irvin, Lafayette Wright among others and it’s hosted by the awesomely ribald Ahmed Huidobro. It’s only $2 and it’s in the ‘hood. Park yr shit and have fun.

At the Arlington Drafthouse there are two solid events in a row where people watch movies and crack wise about them…at 945 is the Shat Ball (that’s Shatner not like, poop) where the Rasberry Brothers do a MST3k impression along with Star Trek V, and then at midnight they repeat the procedure with the lost boys. MAGGOTS YOU’RE EATING MAGGOTS.

Saturday:

Jimmy Fallon sneaks into the Warner Theater presumably without the Roots.

While John Pinette (DC Improv Fri-Sat) is twice the comic Jimmy Fallon will ever be. Why are you making fun of my automobile?

Sunday:

Take a long drive into the countryside. Listen to the Beatles.

In other news:

Reggie Watts soundboard!


Jim Carrey really got into being Andy Kaufman

Denis Leary is still an asshole.
Denis Leary and The Enablers (feat. The Rehab Horns) – “F.U.” (Explicit) by TheSyndicate

Does Napolean Dynamite deserve to be an animated series?

RAWR

BEST TWITTER OF THE WEEK:

@DavidSpade

  • so kendra has a sex tape coming out? sweet . ill go wait in line now like its star wars 10:50 AM May 14th via web

And finally at the end of the road:

Hello Grandad How Are You?


Add your own suggestions for anything we missed in the comments, or email us at [email protected]


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