Welcome to “Another Movie Guy?”! Normally I review recent new releases, but tonight is special. It’s the night when Hollywood’s best and brightest strut their stuff, and celebrate how awesome they are. It’s the night when some sound editor wastes everyone’s time by thanking every person he knows. It’s the night when we watch montage after montage, and the background music gets exponentially more melodramatic. That’s right, it’s Oscar night!
I’ve decided to liveblog the ceremony. With any luck, this exercise will serve as a permanent reminder of why I should never do this again. I only have bourbon and Milano cookies to help maintain my sanity. Some ground rules:
- I will only write, “This is fucking bullshit” once.
- During commercials, I plan to flip to AMC, which will be screening Patton.
- I will drink only when I am outraged.
- If WALL*E does not win Best Animated Feature, I’m turning off the TV and walking to the nearest bar.
I may seriously regret this.