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Once again we check in with our resident metal expert and bouncer Andy, to give us the latest on the scene.  As usual, we have no idea what he’s talking about, but we still enjoy reading!  -cale

Hello all! How the hell’s it shakin? With Icy blood I hope!
Yeah I’ve been swimming in the Nordic Fjords, fishing for new music, going to shows, getting worked up for future shows, and psyched about this weeks Evil Disco
Well tonight, as if you didn’t know, is the second night of Slayer! 
And of course I’ll be there.
I couldn’t attend last night’s show because it was my wife’s birthday, yes, even the icy demon heart of mine has a soft spot for the one that put’s up with my shit.  I also missed Mastodon’s show with Priestess on Saturday, as I had to work the underwear party at Rock and Roll Hotel. 
To those who attended: I did not mean to touch your ass on purpose, I was merely trying to pick up a bottle up off the dance floor and I got a nice face full of some girls ass.
That’s why my wife wanted me to decontaminate myself before coming to bed. I did hear Sweet Child o Mine, and I wanted to grab a mop from the closet and start doing the Axl dance but I was doing my job, and trying to keep all y’all safe. 

My new music picks for you to check out:

AllFader – http://www.myspace.com/allfader
Witchery – http://www.myspace.com/evilones
Raunchy – http://www.myspace.com/raunchy
Hatesphere – http://www.myspace.com/hatesphere

As you might know, these bands are all out of Europe, I honestly used to only listen to American and British metal exclusively but in the world of metal you have got to open your ears, I’ve heard some crazy good music from India, Indonesia, Malaysia, Metal is universal like any form.

Speaking of Universal, we all know the universe begins and ends at Evil Disco., so I expect people to put on your fucking ice skates, crawl on your hands and knees until they bleed and make your way up the wobbly ass stairs of the Wonderland Ballroom, where from 7-9 you will witness the glory of victory and the agony of defeat as the areas best Guitar Hero players converge for a battle to the death in head to head combat.  From there expect to hear nothing but the best in metal and punk.

Shows: happening before you get thrown in the Lair

Fri, Feb. 23rd – All That remains, Misery Signals, Human Abstract, Celtador and Cutthroat remedy.
Sat Feb. 24th – Cock Fight (members of Faster Pussycat, Bang Tango, Bullet boys and Beautiful Creatures), Bloodlines, Vangunn, Baby Jayne, Cobra Kisses

Red n Black:
Mon, Feb. 26th – Death By Sexy

Web, Feb. 28th – Weedeater (ex-Buzzoven), Oak, Bloodspatteredm Satisfaction, & Aphelion – true Stoner Metal here

I would like to thank all of yous who have came up to me and commented me on the column, it’s my pain and pleasure to bring you an  injection of metal into your lives. It’s only going to get better folks! Now give me a big Hell Yeah!

Devil Horns Raised,