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Cats and Halloween go hand in hand, so it’s no wonder that someone carved out a space for caring (even more than we already do) about cats on this day, October 29th. And while there are many types of cats to celebrate on this occasion, talking cats are inarguably the crème de la crème when it comes to felines. (I mean, the English word “chat” is very obviously derived directly from the French word for cat. It’s a historical understanding that speech and kittens are one and the same.) I feel like many people might default to Thackery Binx as the greatest chatty cat of them all, but those people would be wrong, because Salem (of Sabrina the Teenage Witch) is greatest, sassiest talking cat of them all. (No, no, that wasn’t a question.)

Here are some examples (in easy-to-digest GIF format) of why my claims are true:

1. He was basically a tiny, less-diseased conquistador:

2. Salem Saberhagen is the best use of alliteration in a name that I have ever seen:

3. He was like an emo Oprah:

4. And was also in support of emotional eating:

5. Plus all-of-the-time eating:

6. He one hundred percent owned his ability to speak:

7. And was an advocate for self-love:

8. He appreciated the finer things in life:

9. And was an avid reader // homebody:

10. He was multi-talented:

11. Plus he totally was of the “you do my hair, I’ll do yours” mentality:

12. He had mad DJ skills:

13. And although he never took over the world, he totally took over our hearts: