Welcome to A Pumpkin A Day, our new series highlighting the finest in fake pumpkin flavors! Beginning mid-September and running through whenever grocery stores and cafes stop selling pumpkin flavored seasonal treats, we’ll highlight one pointlessly pumpkin product per day.
Today in the world of pumpkin foods, we’re trying Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Seed Brittle. I have to admire Trader Joe’s ability to creatively package pumpkin seeds. Sugar and spice coated pumpkin seeds can’t be too bad, right? Wrong.
On the outside it’s super cute. The box is a fun change of pace. They reference cooking the food in copper kettles again, like on the caramel corn because Trader Joe’s is all about the aesthetic.
The inside packaging is not cute. It’s a clear plastic bag with a ton of sugar granules everywhere that supposedly add more pumpkin spice. This looks so sickly sweet, I’m nervous.
I was right to be nervous, it turns out the bag has another purpose besides holding in loose sugar, it also holds in horrible smells. This is not at all promising.
We can’t decide on the smell, but a few of us think it smells like dog vomit. Brandon thinks it smells like plastic flowers in a craft shop. Everyone agrees it smells off.
Eating this makes me nauseous because of the pungent smell. It’s so bad. If you don’t have working olfactory glands you might enjoy it, because the only thing I taste is sugar. Maybe there’s a hint of molasses, but mostly it’s just sugar. The pumpkin seeds make no impact.
Diabetes: 8. I would lose two feet if I could stomach more than one piece.
Mouth feel: 2. I couldn’t bear to keep it in my mouth because of the smell, but the necessary chewing was fine.
Right to Exist: 0. Who thought it was okay to send this smell into the world?
Feel of fall: 1. It has a hint of spice and molasses, but I don’t even care.