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Welcome to A Pumpkin A Day, our new series highlighting the finest in fake pumpkin flavors! Beginning mid-September and running through whenever grocery stores and cafes stop selling pumpkin flavored seasonal treats, we’ll highlight one pointlessly pumpkin product per day.

Today I might be cheating a tiny bit. These cookies have pumpkin faces and pumpkin colored filling but have no pumpkin flavoring, but these are Halloween cookies and today is Halloween, so I don’t mind. I’m excited to try a spookified version of the classic cookie combo of chocolate with vanilla cream. The packaging is pretty weird which I really appreciate, since I didn’t love the cutesy, punny packages on all the other Trader Joe’s pumpkin products.

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The Chocolate cookie is really nice, it’s not very sweet and it tastes very distinctly like the chocolate on a bourbon biscuit which is amazing because I love those. These are basically bourbon biscuits with vanilla filling rather than chocolate which I adore because I always prefer vanilla frosting.

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The frosting texture is a little bit odd, like a gummier Oreo cream. It also doesn’t have a very strong flavor. There’s just something slightly off about it’s texture. I wouldn’t recommend eating it separate from the cookie because it’s not that good on it’s own, but if you eat it with the cookie it’s solid.

I like the spooky, weird pumpkin faces, they’re all slightly horrifying in a really fun way. I think the creepiest part about them is the eye shapes. The one on the lower left will probably come to my nightmares.

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Like I said earlier, Trader Joe’s packaging finally came through for me (thank you, Joe) because there are no puns or weird references to yoga. There’s a goblin poem but it’s weird enough that I like it. Describing cookies as “pumpkin faces/crunchy orbs of chocolate hue” is almost as good as when Kanye West described McDonald’s McRib as having “artificial meat eyes.” Almost.

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All in all, these are super tasty, and I think I prefer the cookie part to Oreo’s because it’s more bitter. These are really sweet but it’s Halloween so that’s how it should be.

Ratings:

Pumpkin essence – 3. They’re shaped like jack-o-lanterns and have orange dyed filling. That is all.

Mouthfeel- 7. The frosting’s a bit weird but overall it’s a super solid cookie.

Diabetes factor – 7. I ate 4 and can feel the sugar in my bloodstream. Maybe that’s just the Halloween air.

Right to exist – 7. These are fun, festive cookies. I approve of their existence.

Feel of fall – 7. Halloween is the ultimate fall day and these are Halloween cookies, therefore they’re the ultimate fall cookie.

 

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