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What a beautiful package. Doesn’t it look delicious, like autumn? I don’t think this could be packaged or presented any better. Childlike but not too simple. Colorful but not bursting. Cute but not twee.


Trader Joe’s Fall Harvest Salsa is the worst seasonal pumpkin product we’ve tasted.

This does not need to exist. It is a lie. It is not salsa. The definition of salsa is, “spicy tomato sauce.” This is not spicy. There are no tomatoes. You know what this is? It’s a mélange. You know how I know that? Because the bottle says it is. Underneath the big letters it says what it is. The big letters are a lie.

Why aren’t we using words correctly? We are literally using certain terms incorrectly. We are literally doing this in most interactions. We are not literally dying when we say we’re literally dying, but are literally using literally like someone that doesn’t know how to properly speak and/or write. This leads us to the Trader Joe’s Fall Harvest Salsa. It does not literally lead us to salsa.

Trader Joe’s Fall Harvest Salsa is meant for Instagram and people that don’t like spicy tomato sauces with chips. It’s pretty and wrong. It serves no greater purpose and the audience that might actually enjoy it will never know because it’s incorrectly labeled.

As a salsa, this is a complete failure. As an autumnal mélange, it’s decent but packs not nearly enough flavor. It’s easy to doctor to give it the seasoning that should be in the bottle but if you’re buying an autumnal mélange out of a bottle from Trader Joe’s, you probably don’t care about strong flavors.

Why are we using the wrong words? Why are you buying this? Probably because a fall harvest salsa sounds interesting. Too bad this isn’t salsa.