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Welcome to A Pumpkin A Day, our new series highlighting the finest in fake pumpkin flavors! Beginning mid-September and running through whenever grocery stores and cafes stop selling pumpkin flavored seasonal treats, we’ll highlight one pointlessly pumpkin product per day.

Today we are trying a pumpkin spice chocolate candy from Sjaak’s Organic Chocolates. I think they’re truffles, if truffle means it has filling, because this basically the fall version of a peanut butter cup where the peanut butter is replaced by pumpkin spice caramel sauce. This could be really good, or I could wish for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

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The pumpkin spice filling reminds me a lot of the bottom of the yogurt cup if they added a lot more sugar to it to make it more syrupy. The chocolate tastes completely like wax which is surprising considering this is a Whole Foods product.

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There are clearly spices in here because you can see the tiny flecks of spice in the syrup but they do nothing flavor-wise. Even eating a little of the filling alone is super waxy. Interestingly, despite all the waxiness, the smell is pretty promising. It just smells like chemical chocolate, which is not great, but is preferable to wax.

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The chocolate is a little bittersweet, which in theory is fine, it makes sense not to have milk chocolate filled with sugary syrup. However, almost immediately any chocolate-y essence is lost to waxiness. It’s a little reminiscent of chewing on those cherry wax lips if they were made in chocolate instead of cherry.

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If you made a tray with a mix of these and Reese’s Peanut Butter cups you’d have some really angry friends. Thinking you’re getting a peanut butter cup and getting this nonsense would be the worst. At least I knew what I was getting, to a degree.

Overall, this is super sad chocolate. I don’t think anything could be done to improve or redeem it. It is 100% a lost cause.
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Pumpkin essence: 0. I taste no pumpkin flavor.
Diabetes: 4. The caramel filling is definitely a threat.
Mouth feel: 2. It’s like chewing wax with syrup on it.
Right to exist: 0. It’s better to have no chocolate than to have this chocolate.
Feel of fall: 0. Tastes like nothing but sadness, and that’s what early January is for.

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