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Welcome to A Pumpkin A Day, our new series highlighting the finest in fake pumpkin flavors! Beginning mid-September and running through whenever grocery stores and cafes stop selling pumpkin flavored seasonal treats, we’ll highlight one pointlessly pumpkin product per day.

Any savory pumpkin product is very welcome at this point. Especially a product that has a lot of protein, fiber and whole grains, because if pumpkin can’t be healthy what can be? I have a good feeling about the mustachioed Doctor Kracker on the box, so I think I’m going to like this a lot.


Coming out of the box, the cheese on top is weirdly shiny and it looks like someone spilled nail polish or acrylic paint all over it which is not appealing. I’m disappointed. I think it’s meant to look really browned like when you cook cheese at high heat, but this just looks like hardened goop. The pumpkin seeds on the surface let you know that this is healthy because seeds are the essence of health. They also distract from the shiny cheese. The bottom is perforated, which is fun and convenient if you want to share a healthy snack with a pal. img_6738-jpg

Taste-wise I like this. I love dry, thick whole grain crackers so this was great. They’re not overwhelmingly dry and the cheese gives a nice cheese twist or Cheez-It flavor, but healthier because again, seeds. There’s no strong smell, aside from a vague cracker-iness, which is good.

I love that this isn’t sweet. I love that there isn’t a hint of cinnamon or whatever else is in pumpkin pie spice. Not everything needs to be spiced to be pumpkin. That said, these don’t taste pumpkin-y at all, except for that in some bites you get a strong taste of pumpkin seeds. I don’t associate the taste of pumpkin seed with that typical fall pumpkin flavor, but I think if they tried to jam that in it would be too much.


These crackers know what they are and they do that really well. Basically these taste like denser, healthier Cheez-Its and that’s great.


Pumpkin essence – 5. Not that typical pumpkin flavor, but the pumpkin seeds add some pumpkin-y flair.

Mouthfeel- 9. These are correct.

Diabetes factor – 0. No sweetness.

Right to exist – 10. I want to keep eating these. I hope they’re not year round.

Feel of fall – 5. Although they don’t meet the usual standards there’s something inexplicably fall about these. They kind of taste like warmth and eating soup by a fire. But healthy soup.