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Welcome to A Pumpkin A Day, our new series highlighting the finest in fake pumpkin flavors! Beginning mid-September and running through whenever grocery stores and cafes stop selling pumpkin flavored seasonal treats, we’ll highlight one pointlessly pumpkin product per day.

Finally we have ventured into the world of pumpkin spice drinks. We’re not so basic that we’ve reached into the Starbucks PSL range, not yet anyway. Instead we’re trying the Almond Dream Pumpkin Spice drink. It’s like a latte, but not hot and not with coffee. Maybe it’s like a non-frozen milkshake. Or just flavored milk. It’s just flavored milk.img_6774-jpg

It’s really good flavored milk, though. It’s dangerously good. Especially since it’s kind of thin because it’s almond milk, instead of something more dense like cow or coconut milk. In a moment of weakness, I could definitely finish this carton without realizing it.

It has a delicate fall smell, like liquefied pumpkin pie. It tastes like a slightly pumpkin-y version of a Starbucks iced chai, which makes sense since both are basically spiced syrup in a milk base. As with most of the natural pumpkin products it has real flecks of spice in it so you can tell it’s authentically spiced. Oreo didn’t worry about that.img_6780-jpg

On the side of the carton there’s a recipe for a Holiday Pumpkin Smoothie Dessert which is basically my dream. I’ve definitely mentioned it in an earlier pumpkin post, but as a child I was obsessed with the Jamba Juice Pumpkin Smash Smoothie because it tastes like someone froze a pumpkin pie and threw it in a blender. It’s fucking magic.


This is not quite as magical, but I still love it a lot. At first I drank it on ice to try to make it as similar to the Pumpkin Smash as possible, but it’s also very drinkable lukewarm and it’s a bit thicker then which feels more indulgent. You could hoard this in your basement in case the power goes out and it would be a fun festive treat during the apocalypse. img_6786-jpg


Pumpkin essence – 6. It tastes like pumpkin pie mixed with a lot of almond milk in a blender. I love it.

Mouthfeel- 10. As milky as it should be.

Diabetes factor – 4. Only 8 grams of sugar per 1/2 cup serving, but again, you could chug the whole bottle by accident and that’s 64 grams.

Right to exist – 10. Stock up on these for the end of days.

Feel of fall – 7. So festive!