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In the spirit of time-does-not-exist anymore, we decided you could all use a Christmas right about now. So we are re-running some of our favorite holiday content, just because. Use this as an official excuse to think about something else, and watch holiday movies all day.

xoxo, BYT (and Merry Christmas! In April!)

I can’t wait to go home for Christmas. I live in a studio apartment so it’s nice to remember what it’s like to go from one room to another room. My mom also semi-adopted my cat when I moved so I spend the majority of my time forcing him to love me again. HE WILL LOVE ME AGAIN. Of course all of that lasts about an hour, then the stress/anxiety/rage sets in as we continue our ongoing battle of: You’re still my kid but I’m 33, mom. Ah the holidays…please pass the wines, and the whines. Forced merriment with people who used to enrage you to the point of multiple bedroom door slams. How does one work out all of that aggression safely? It’s pretty easy…just watch a few good horror movies. What? Horror movies on Christmas? But isn’t that illegal? Jesus, is this legal? It is because I’ve found a few loopholes: Christmas-themed Horror movies. Here are my faves:

1. Black Christmas (1974)

You have to watch the original. I hate to sound like a hipster asshole but the original version of this movie is so much better than its 2006 counterpart. I mean come on, a young Margot Kidder? Yes please. In this tale of red and green terror a sorority house is systematically stalked and terrorized by a stranger who uses everyone’s favorite terror device: the telephone. And then he goes about murdering them one by one as is the way of a killer.  If you take a shot every time a girl screams you will pass out in 10 minutes.
2. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) 
When you watch your parents get murdered by a guy dressed as Santa then are sent to an orphanage where you are beaten severely by the Mother Superior because of “naughty” thoughts the ONLY thing you can do is grow up and kill that nun with an ax…while dressed as Santa. Clearly.
3. Christmas Evil (1980)
If you’re going to go insane and believe you’re someone else, why not believe you’re Santa? And while we’re here, why not take it a step further by deciding who is naughty and who is nice. Obviously you have to kill the naughty folks. That’s the true spirit of Christmas. You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout I’m telling you why…Santa Clause is KILLING THIS TOWN.
4. Santa’s Slay (2005) 
This movie is intentionally funny with a lot of thematic deaths. It gets bonus point for having “hell deer,” and making Santa a demon whose punishment for being evil was to bring toys to children, and spread joy…but when that ends OH BOY THE FUN BEGINS. Warning: Contains Fran Drescher’s laugh.
 5. Jack Frost (1997)
Jack Frost is on his way to his own execution, after all he is a well-known serial killer, but that plan changes when his truck collides with another genetics truck. What in the hell is a genetics truck? Who cares, the result is Jack Frost is resurrected as THE JACK FROST who continues his reign of terror. As a snowman. A very scary snowman. Before you think no one is actually named Jack Frost I’ll have you know my plastic surgeon is named Jack Frost to which I constantly made the joke: Are you nipping at my nose? Boy did we laugh and laugh.

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