Oh hey and welcome back to another semi-embarrassing display of my love of soccer! We have plenty more World Cup drama to discuss, so let’s get into it RIGHT NOW!
This month has flown by! I can hardly believe we’re staring down the WORLD CUP FINAL this weekend! It’s happening on Sunday at 11am, and the contenders are (in case you weren’t yet aware) France and Croatia! Let’s talk about that!
France faced off against Belgium on Tuesday afternoon (or, night in Russia, but daylight hours over in the USA) and sealed the deal in the first ten minutes – Umtiti popped in a beautiful header in the 51st minute, and Belgium couldn’t get it back together to tie things up. So long, mes amis!
And then it was England’s turn to fall on Wednesday. It looked like it might indeed be coming home after Trippier nailed a goal in the 5th minute, but Croatia crept back up with a goal by Perišić in the 68th minute. The tie brought the two nations into overtime, but ultimately it was Croatia who prevailed with a Mandžukić goal in the 109th minute. Croatia is the second smallest nation ever to make it to a World Cup Final.
I didn’t have any horses in either race, so it was tough to feel overly happy or overly sorry for anybody. I did appreciate that Scotland had a great time supporting Croatia, though, and if you’re not hip to the gift from god that is Scottish Twitter, get wise now:
And on that note, let’s go to the headlines of interest:
- England fans did not take kindly to the above tweet, and began harassing the teenage girl who penned it with pictures of her dead dog. What the actual fuck.
- But at least her fellow countrymen were with her re: wanting an England loss, to the point the nation was running out of Croatia jerseys.
- You might have noticed (or not noticed) that I didn’t mention Saturday’s game between losers Belgium and England. That’s because literally no one cares about it.
- Shout-out to the England fans who prematurely got embarrassing victory tattoos.
- And yes, the “They’re Going Home” memes have been GLORIOUS.
- FIFA has warned broadcasters to stop panning the crowd for shots of hot women because it’s fucking degrading and disgusting.
- Kenyans are rightfully pissed that their MPs took a state-funded trip to the 2018 World Cup.
- And finally, is the Mick Jagger curse real?
I’ll be checking back in on Monday morning with final results and any other bonkers news that might happen between now and then! For now, good luck to you all, unless you’re rooting for someone I am not rooting for! (Currently I am STILL not rooting for anyone, so we’re all in the clear!)