Oh hey and welcome back to another semi-embarrassing display of my love of soccer! We have plenty more World Cup drama to discuss, so let’s get into it RIGHT NOW!

A few of the matches these past two days were sort of yawn dot com since the competitors’ fates were already sealed. France v. Denmark was the first scoreless match this go-round, but goddamn did Denmark’s Thomas Delaney take all of the beatings re: tumultuous tumbles induced by France’s v. physical game. I thought he busted his wrist at one point, and the third fall he took looked brutal, too.

I am back on the Argentina train after yesterday’s dramatic nail-biter of a match against Nigeria. I thought Mascherano had screwed us all with his concession of a PK, but in the end, ol’ Rojo was the wind beneath our wings and pulled out a second goal for the win, meaning the squad goes through! (I legitimately cried combo tears of sadness pre-Rojo goal and tears of happiness post-Rojo goal, and I am genuinely concerned for my mental stability, but hey! At least I still have my people to root for!)

Also, can we just talk about how RE LIMADO Maradona was at that match. (“RE LIMADO”means lit AF in Argentinian Spanish, by the way.)

I watched that match on TV, and simultaneously streamed the Iceland v. Croatia game on my laptop to see how it was going. Holy bones, that Bjarnasson bloody nose made me want to die.

The current standings (as of 10am on 6.27) have Russia and Uruguay both through the group stage in Group A, Spain and Portugal through for Group B, France and Denmark through Group C, CROATIA AND ARGENTINA THROUGH FOR GROUP D YASSSSS, Switzerland and Brazil at the top of Group E, Germany and Mexico at the top of Group F, Belgium and England at the top of Group G, and Japan and Senegal at the top of Group H. We’ll have more answers today and tomorrow re: who’ll advance to the Round of 16, which kicks off Saturday. As of this writing, though, it’s the TBD contenders of Japan, Senegal, Colombia, Germany, Mexico, Sweden and South Korea who all still have chances to move forward and join the ranks of the nations already guaranteed advancement.

So just to reiterate, eliminated teams so far include (cue Hunger Games cannon sounds): Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Morocco, Peru, Costa Rica, Tunisia, Panama, Poland, Iran, Australia, Iceland and Nigeria.

Headlines of interest:

Coming up we’ve got Mexico v. Sweden and Germany v. South Korea at 10am. Meanwhile, it’s Switzerland v. Costa Rica and Brazil v. Serbia at 2pm. Tomorrow, there’s Senegal v. Colombia and Japan v. Poland at 10am, and England v. Belgium and Panama v. Tunisia at 2pm. Clearly the 10am matches are most of interest if you can only sneak in one during your workday. (Maybe go in after lunch.)

I’ll be checking back in on Friday morning with updates to the final group stage standings, upcoming Round of 16 matches to watch this weekend AND any other bonkers news that might happen between now and then! For now, good luck to you all, unless you’re rooting for someone I am not rooting for!

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